Middle School Mind

This is a Toborochi tree--one of the beautiful pieces of Bolivia that I will miss.

I think I might write a book on this someday..if I ever decide to get a Doctorate in Psychology...(yeah right).  That aside, this is about as far as my psychological studies go: the middle school mind.

Let's begin.  Here is my theory: whenever someone is dealing with a dramatic life change or transition, that person gets what I like to call "middle-school-mind." Think about it! When was the first time of transition in your life? MIDDLE SCHOOL.  My theory is pretty much that our minds subconciously revert back to the trauma of Middle School when we reach another big place of transition.  It is just that we THINK we handle it differently, but we don't. We return to whatever trauma we dealt with in Middle School and respond exactly the same way.

Last week, my 7th Graders finished The Hobbit and their final
project was a board game

When I was in Middle School, I went through a lot of phases.  Looking back on it, I could label the entire phase-bounce with one word: awkward.  I bounced back in forth between friends: I experimented in a lot of areas to figure out my identity--the skaters, the jocks, the drama-geeks, the bandies, back to the skaters, the goth kids, and so forth. I searched and searched for a place I belonged.  It wasn't until I realized that I had too many hobbies and liked too many people to settle on and with one group of individuals.  So I celebrated each clique and was aquaintances with them all.  As I transitioned into High School, I continued the same pattern, and even into college.

I could probably count on one hand the amount of close friends I acquired over the years; because what started out as loving everyone equally--became shutting people out.  I realized quickly that friends are seasonal and the seasons were shorter than I thought.  I started walking through life alone because my only constants were myself, God, and my family.  I still have this same tendency: the belief that I am alone--something that this experience in Bolivia has, and continues to beat out of my mind--or validate, depending on the day.

THIS is why Middle School is probably the MOST VALUABLE ministry there is.  Ok that might be a blanket statement, but hear me out.  How differently would you have acted in Middle School had someone come alongside of you to help you think through your crazyness and learn how to deal with it?  When you went through that concrete thought-abstract thought transition--how awesome would it have been to have someone help you understand your own mind?  This is the reason I love Middle Schoolers.  Yes, they can be a little difficult to deal with, but aren't we all when we cannot figure out what is up or down or how to handle it.  I wish that someone would have told me and been there for me through the transition.  I wish someone would have grained the fact that relationships matter--and that I should hold on to those I love.

These 7th graders made all of Mirkwood out of Legos! :)

If you think back to your middle school experience, I'm sure that you all have incredibly loaded stories, and I'm sure you could analyze your middle school mind and see a pattern. Learning what your true identity is usually is the biggest part of it.  What is it that we are searching for again when we are going through the transition that is college?  What is my major?  How will I fit in society?  What about when we graduate from college?  Where am I going to find a job?  How will I pay these bills?  Why did I major in that?  I haven't felt the pressures of the transition into marriage and family, but I'm sure there is still some kind of middle school mind in there somewhere.

My point is this: Life is rickety security between awkward transitions.  Middle school is when we first learn how to transition.  So if we don't teach that basic life skill to the middle schoolers in our lives, we are raising citizens that will not know how to embrace transition and allow it to be something that they can look forward to.

All that to say, I currently have middle school mind.  My mind is in a million places at once: attempting to process through my year as a teacher, as a missionary, as a friend, as a colleague, as a mentor...attempting to still embrace the moments I still have in those roles, but also attempting to let go of those roles and begin to transition and prepare myself for my role-shift to the States.  I'm in the middle of an identity crisis and my awkward transitional phase is taking over my mind.

I loved how unique they were.
This group's looked like Candy Land

God has been comforting me with the passage in Ecclesiastes 3 that reminds me that this awkward stage is one of the seasons--not just an unidentifiable time between the seasons: "a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing."  God has shown me that transition is a necessary part of His plan.  The very act of Him molding and shaping us--sanctification is a constant and awkward place of transition.  Throughout His Word, he continually commands us to enjoy the work He has given us.  To "run the race" to serve one another in Love.  This is our lot in life, and He, through His grace, uses it to mold us into ones worthy of this calling.

Middle School is awkward.  Its a time where we are unsure if we are alone in our confusion or if others are in the same place.  We aren't sure if we can ask for help.  We aren't sure if people want to help.  Its a time of questions without answers that you like.  A time of searching for something invisible.  A time of identity confusion, and time where your minds turn to sponges.  We are all going through points in our lives where we have this middle school mind, and God simply wants us to embrace HIM as not only the author of the big story, but the revisor and editor and publisher of it all--including our small part in the Narrative.  We just have to get through Middle School--not just to get through, but embrace the moments by having the attitude that He is molding us as He prepares us for eternal glory.

Thanks for reading & your continual support.

Rachel

{prayer requests}

{SCCLC}

• End of the Year: kids {and teachers} get really hyper and unfocused this time of year.  Pray that they continue to love eachother and embrace the moments they have for the end of the year.
• Finals: pray for finals week (next week) that the students remember what they have studied and that the teachers are able to finish grading
• Seniors: pray for them as they hit graduation & also develop their transitional middle school minds this summer in their endeavors, whether college or not

{MSCrew}

• Pray for the kids this summer.  That they continue to grow spiritually & that they continue to lead & serve their school as the next year approached.
• Pray for the students who have disciplers that are leaving.  This is a VERY hard thing for kids to be ok with--a lot of people and not much consistency. Pray that God brings more good spiritual leaders into their lives, and that their relationships with us will continue to grow across oceans.
• PRAISE for their successful chapel time--photos to come...they did an excellent job, and I'm extremely proud of them!

{Personal}

• Transition into the States: pray that I will "laugh at the future" (Prov. 31:25) and that God will ease my anxiety about what is to come.
• I need a VEHICLE when I return to the States--pray that I will find one--and financially be able to work that out.
• I'm looking for a job for next school year.  Please pray that as I interview--the right door will be opened and the wrong ones will be closed.  Pray for patience & faith in this process as well.
• Pray for the remainder of my time here.  That I will embrace my time, and not allow myself to "worry about tomorrow."

O the Thinks You Can Think!

Caleb & Naomi setting the stage for things to come.

"O the thinks you can think" was the opening number of Seussical the Musical--the production we just put on for the last time this weekend. As I sat and watched them perform, I mouthed the words along with them and started to think.  I remember when we first were making the proposal to do this musical.  Emily was wide-eyed and excited, and I shared in her excitement with a little reservation--feeling that my skills as a musical director would not live up to Barlow-standards.  As the semester rolled on, we all got overwhelmed as things didn't go the way we planned, but God worked it all out and made it worth it.  I'm so glad we did it, and even more blessed to have been a part of it.

Putting on Seussical the Musical was extremely tiring and trying.  It isn't the first time I have been part of a major production, but it is the first time I have been a director of a major production. Wow...that brings a whole different type of exhaustion.  I'm so glad to have worked alongside of Emily Barlow, and I'm continually in awe of how graceful she is when she directs these shows.  She is an inspiration in so many ways.

My favorite shot Horton (Tayo) talking to the Who's on the dust speck

If I could say one thing, among many, that I learned throughout this production it would be that "no think is too small for God."  I can definitely say that Emily and I were worried--there were so many things that were not in our control as we persevered through the entire show.  There was just so much going on.  The kids were doing an excellent job and working super hard, but we were stressed out pretty much the entire time.

Going into opening night, though, everything just gelled into place in a way that only God could do.  Everyone performed at their absolute best, and the kids did one simple thing: they had fun.  I couldn't tell you how many moments I sat there watching them with tears in my eyes and the widest and cheesiest smile on my face.  They did it.  God did it.  He took their very best and made it even better, for His glory.  I'm so proud of them and everything they worked so hard to achieve.

Amazing Mayzie & the bird girls singing to Gertrude

As I stumbled through a tear-filled prayer on Saturday night, I admitted to myself that Seussical was the bittersweet beginning to the end of an unforgettable and incredible year here at SCCLC.  There has been blood, sweat, and tears that have all mushed together to make this one of the most life-changing experiences I have ever had, and I would do it again if I could.

The end of the musical marks the beginning of my transition out of SCCLC and back to the States.  I will be leaving on June 14th, and I won't be returning to the SCCLC.  God is clearly ending this chapter of my life, and I will be returning to the States to find a teaching job in inner-city Philadelphia.  Though I am at peace with this decision--a decision made a long time ago, it is extremely hard to say goodbyes without knowing when I will see these kids, teachers, and friends again.

The Wickershams "Monkey-ing Around"

Please be praying for me and the ones I love here as I transition out of Bolivia.  I have been in denial of it being a difficult one, but I know that a part of my heart is going to be left here--and its going to be hard to let go.  But--as I said before "no think is too small for God" and I cannot wait to see what he has in store for me in the coming years.

Thanks for your constant prayers & love,

Rachel

Here a few more photos from the weekend:

The show-stoppers during their shining moments :)

Emily & myself after it was all over!

The Full Cast & Crew :)

I'm so proud of my kids & blessed by them daily.  I'm not sure what to do with myself now that its all over! :)

Formalities

It has been quite a long time since I have blogged; it might have something to do with the busyness of these last few and upcoming weeks.  I hate to disappoint, but if you expect a long-winded blog you will be severely disappointed.  If you described my current demeanor as of now and the days that have preceded in one word it would be: exhaustion.

I believe I have been running on empty for the past few weeks, and I am definitely feeling the pressures of a first year teacher as this year is beginning to wrap up.  As a woman, I can have multiple thoughts going on in my head at once.  I believe it has been described as spaghetti brain.  My spaghetti brain is on such overload that it might boil if I don't give it a rest.

This weekend was the annual Jr/Sr Formal Banquet.  The teachers and parents were invited to attend, and I got a bunch of really fun pictures with some of my students.  You can see them below.

I LOVE these two girls.  All three of us got our dresses for the night made by a local seamstress.  She made them from a picture without a pattern!  It was a great bonding time for the three of us :)

Myself and some of my Bolivian middle school students :)

Some of my MK students :)

The Seniors for which the night was planned.  They are also the very first class I have ever taught when I was just a student teacher! :) They hold a special place in my heart :)

Myself and Iza, a Brazilian MK, I am so proud of the woman that she is becoming & how much she has grown this year!

Graciela & Noelia.  They are such sweet & beautiful girls.  I know they're going to do amazing things.

Heyli has such a cool story, and is one of the Spiritual Leaders in MSCrew with me.  I love have fun conversations with her & how she likes to be challenged & challenge others.  She reminds me a lot of myself at her age. PLUS her hair looks great (I did it for her).

Tomorrow begins Tech Week for Seussical the Musical, and I will not be home before 7pm pretty much every night this week.  Friday and Saturday are the performance days, and I didn't realize how involved this whole process would be.  I have been learning so much about the pressures and art involved in successfully pulling off a production, and we all could really use prayers this week as everything starts to come together.

There are only 3 weeks left of classes, then Finals & I have one week to pack up my classroom and my belongings before I head home.  Things are starting to wind down, and transition is when I start to get Middle School mind, so I'd appreciate prayers for that as well.

Thanks for your constant support & prayers,

Rachel