Warm Fuzzies

Have you ever had them?  You know what I'm talking about.  The beaming smile, not sure how to respond, warm feeling you get when someone genuinely encourages you.  Encouragement is probably one of the most powerful things to receive aside from discouragement.  Let me explain.

Since I was a child, I thrived on discouragement...negative reinforcement.  I remember a time in 6th grade when I, out of peer pressure, was blatantly disobeying one of my youth group leaders and in anger he retorted, "You're really never going to learn how to listen will you?"  From that point on I made it my goal to prove him wrong.  I was embarassed and ashamed of my behavior, but it was his stinging words that motivated me to change.  Throughout my life, I have tended to break down walls, change minds, prove people wrong.  When I was discouraged from moving forwad, I would even if it was unwise.  When I was told I couldn't do something, I'd do it in order to change the minds of those who don't know me--or judge me.

What I have discovered in my own self-evaluations, I still have the same mentality.  I hold on to discouragments much longer than encouragements, why?  Because they are more motivating.  I was pretty severely discouraged when I first arrived to Bolivia.  I was hurt by a few individuals, and my perception was that I wanted to prove those individuals wrong.  I wanted to prove that I was different than what they said I was, that I was better than they said I was.  The work I did was in vain, though.  Through my time here at the SCCLC, I worked and worked and didn't receive what I wanted: a tale-between-the-legs apology, to be told "you proved me wrong," to be given a reason to have pride.  My aim to please was directed toward the wrong people when it should have been directed to the One who sent me.

It wasn't until I attended youth group with my Junior Highers on Friday that I was shown WHY it is that I am here.  Ryan has been teaching the Junior Highers a series on bullying, and the importance of building eachother up, and encouraging one another.  He had all of the kids sit in a hot-seat and have people say encouraging things about them.  After the students were done, he had them do the same to the leaders.  I was first.  I sat with tears in my eyes as the epitamy of warm fuzzies came over me.  Student after student raised their hands and told me all of these things I have been doing right.  They told me the exact opposite of the things that on which I was discouraged.

I am not here to prove those who discourage me wrong.  I am here SERVE those whom I love, and in God's grace, though my motives were impure, that is what I have been doing.  God is the ultimate encourager.  He sees the PURE me through the weaknesses I possess.  Jesus is the mirror to the Truth of the gospel.  He sees me as perfect--and his judgement is the exact opposite of cloudy.

I read Ephesians 3 today, and saw so many things I wanted to take out of it.  What I am learning is that I need to allow my identity be rooted in Christ's love, rather than rooted in earthly motivations--whether that be discouragement or encouragement.  I need to be serving with a mentality to love and please God, no one else. The BEAUTIFUL thing that happens when I am aiming to please God is that I will naturally please and love everyone.
So the discouragements of my life have taught me two major things:
1. Discouragment may be strong enough to change a person's outlook or actions, but its not strong enough to change hearts.
2. I am not identified as Rachel Gentry, missionary middle school & music teacher.  I am identified as Rachel Gentry, daughter of the King.  So no matter what failures there may be, or discouragements that may come, the one encouragement that I will forever hold onto is that I am loved by the One whom I don't deserve to know.

THAT gives me warm fuzzies. I truly believe that God used the words of my middle schoolers to show that encouragement is indeed stronger than discouragement, and I long for the day when I do hear "well done, good and faithful servant."  I'm willing to bet that the warm fuzzies from that statement will last for eternity.

My 7th Graders :)

Thanks for reading, praying & supporting!

Rachel

Prayer Requests for the Week:
Sunday: Pray for continued development in my relationships with my Bolivian church friends.  PRAISE that I was able to have two great conversations last week.
Monday: I will begin babysitting Pam & Ryan's children while they are at HS youth group.  Pray that I look at this as a ministry opportunity to the Parsons family and their two boys.
Tuesday: Pray for the Middle School Crew meeting we are having, that the convsersation will be God-honoring and that they kids will be changed & challenged.
Wednesday: Pray for chapel to continue to make a difference in the lives of the students and teachers at the SCCLC.
Thursday: Pray for the SAM missionaries and ministries (both home and away) that are in need of funding.
Friday: Pray for Middle School youth group--that we will reach more of the students that have not yet attended.