Sneaking a Peek at God's Will

Most Recent Bolivian Adventure: exploring the light displays of Santa Cruz

I have never been an easy person to surprise.  Not possessing energy to face the impossible feat of pulling the wool over my eyes, my parents never threw me a surprise party. To put it bluntly: I am nosy, and like to know what is going on.  At far too young an age I would sit with my parents as they talked to their adult friends instead of playing with the other kids, just because I wanted to know what was going on.  In middle school and high school, I loved secrets only if I knew them, and I tried to sneak a peek at my Christmas presents so much that my parents started going shopping on Christmas Eve.  Social Committee president and an a member of the Student Government, I even needed to be a person "in the know" all throughout college.  Though he has never complained about it, Dave is very aware of this flaw of mine, and has been patiently helping me enjoy and welcome surprises.

As I have continued my life journey in Bolivia, I am realizing that being "in the know" is as impossible as throwing a surprise party for me was when I was a kid.  Since I first stepped on Bolivian sand, I've been surprised so many times it doesn't even come as a shock anymore; in fact it is a shock when I am able to predict a surprise.  What has this taught me?  First--real life is not even close to what they "prepare" you for up until college graduation.  Secondly, God loves surprises, and life itself is a surprise.

In the latest chapter Dave and I have read in the devotional we are doing, Devotions for Dating Couples, Sam Adams writes about God's will.  He shares that God has two wills for our lives: his soveriegn (secret) will and His moral will.  The sovereign will is one that will be carried out regardless of our choices, and the moral will is what He asks of us--and what is shared with us in Scriptures. Adams continues, "The problem occurs when we want to sneak a peek at God's secret will before it has been revealed.  Often we are too concerned with trying to anticipate His next move."

Lately, I have found my self wondering and pondering what my next move is supposed to be at the end of this school year.  What is my next step when I get off the plane on June 15th?  I have been praying for God to make His will clear to me.  I have been praying for God to show Dave His will as we take steps together in our future.  As we plan our next steps, I am humbled by Dave's patience and faith in God's providential will--meanwhile I am a wreck waiting for both Dave and God to present me with a 5-year plan.

My prayers and expectations have been completely misguided.  I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit intervenes in prayers, because I shouldn't be praying for God to make His will clear; I should be allowing myself to seek God's moral will.  I should be fulfilling MY duty as a servant of the Lord, "love God and enjoy Him forever."

I have been re-reading My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers had an amazing Biblical example of Peter asking Jesus, "why can I not follow you now?" John 13:37.  Immediately after this questions Jesus tells Peter that He will deny Him three times, while Peter is convinced that he knows Himself better than Jesus does.  How foolish, right?  Well here I am just as guilty.  Waiting on the Lord's direction, and the Lord's will when all I need to do is stop denying Him.  

Chambers responds to this passage this way, "Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move."

I have no idea what God is planning for my future.  I don't know what I will be doing this time next year.  I don't know whether I will be single, what country I will be in, where I will be laying my head, what job I will have.  Life is full of questions.  All questions God knows the answer to, and all questions I am not ready to hear the answers to.  I am only praying that I will continue to seek God--not his unrevealed will, because  I don't want or need heartache or disappointment--I need to love God and enjoy Him forever.

Thanks for Reading, Praying and Supporting!

Rachel

*******IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, make sure you watch this video as a THANK YOU for all of the gracious support you have given me these past months!*******

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PRAYER REQUESTS:

1. SAMBo Missions Conference:  This week we could really use your prayers here at SAMBolivia.  The Missions Conference is bringing a bunch of speakers and helpers for us missionaries to be ministered to.  I'm really looking forward to the time of rejunvination, Spiritual food, fellowship, and opportunities to rest and grow in the Lord.  PLEASE pray that God will go before us, and that His truth will be shared, shown, and received.

2. SCCLC: Students and teachers start the school year again on January 14th.  The time has snuck up on a lot of us, and we could use prayers as we continue to plan for the semester.  We are half-way through! Pray that we finish this last lap of our race well!

3. MSCrew: With the start of school, comes the continuation of youth group and Crew.  Kids will be completing and handing in applications for Crew during the first week of school.  Pray for wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit as we make decisions and seek His direction with Middle School Crew.

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