The Chase of the Blue Butterfly

A few teachers and I decided to escape Santa Cruz a couple weekends ago and take a short trip up to Samaipata.  Our friend, Kaitlyn, hadn't been yet, and we were all in the mood to get away, so we embraced spontanaity, and escaped normalcy.

almost got a glimpse

During our trip we went to visit Las Cuevas (local waterfalls), all of us had been there except for Kaitlyn, so it was extremely familiar.  (click here for pictures from my previous visit), but this time, we saw a what seemed like a million butterflies.  They were everywhere.  I was able to snap quite a few photos of different types of butterflies, but we could not get a photo of the blue butterfly that all of us found incredibly beautiful.  But it was also the most excited of the butterflies--meaning it just wouldn't stay still long enough for us to get a good photo.  So, I prayed about it, thinking WHY NOT?  I'm sure God would get the butterfly still enough to take a picture.

Still chasing that butterfly!

Well, we chased that blue butterfly all over those mountains, and at some points we swore that it was following us, but no photo.  By the end of our trip when we all had given up hope.  That blue butterfly was just as tired as we were, because it simply perched on a branch just in time for us to shoot a perfect picture. Then he fluttered away, never to be seen again.

This experience reminded me of the story in 2 Kings 6 of Elisha and the axe head.  One of Elisha's men borrowed an axe, and foolishly swung it hard enough for it to sink down to the bottom of the river.  He had a minor freakout and Elisha came to the rescue.  Elisha had faith enough in God to trust Him to restore the axe head to his man, and threw a stick into the water.  The axe head then floated to the surface and all was happy.  This is such a ridiculous story that is a simple picture of trusting God in the little things. Right after this little seemingly insignificant story happened, the contrast of God blinding all of Samaria so they could be sieged and conquered occured.  I'm not sure which of the two stories is a better example of God's power.

There are countless and continual instances when the prayers we have seem too small or too unnecessary for God to care to do anything about them.  But that is not how this God we serve runs things.  No matter how small or insignificant we think the little prayers we have are, He cares about the details of our lives.  Not only that, he doesn't allow himself to be distracted by the little things.  It all fits into His big plan.

in the middle of our picture we thought we saw the butterfly

Today, in reverence, we remember the cross.  The large action that He took for our lives.  But this large action is nothing without the details.  Have you ever stopped and looked at the teeny tiny details of His crucifixcion?  I cannot do it without welling up in tears, but every single stripe on His back was planned.  The drips of blood from his brow? Planned.  The spear in his side, the meaningful words He uttered, the convicted hearts on that day, the time of day, the way in which he was killed?  Planned.

True joy is when we are confident that He is involved in the details of our lives and comforted that the details are necessary to fill the big picture.  The master of the Universe, the God who could kill me in an instant but chose to send His son to die in my place cares enough to bless me with a detail.  If things made sense He would only be transcendant and not accessible, but He is and always will be.  The unexplainable combination of extremes: the big things and the little things--should cause us to crumble in Fear and awe and wonder.

 

I'm more than positive that on the scale of importance, our blue butterfly ranked lower than even the axe head in the Jordan River, and that is not saying much.  Despite all of that, I know that God appreciated our desire to enjoy God's creation, and amongst the chase we did.  He showed us beautiful waterfalls that overwhelmed us, he gave us moments of solitude, and lots of time to fellowship together & bond.

Moral of the story: no prayer is too small for God to answer or too insignificant for Him to care.

Here are some more photos from our time up in Samaipata:

A picture to make my mom squeal in fear :)

All four of us in the doorway of our house!

Walking over one of the bridges along the road :)

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Praise God for another quarter finishing, there is one quarter left, and we are in the home stretch!
• Pray for the students as the year is starting to wind down.  Pray that they stay focused and that those whose grades are low bring their grades up, and that they are also looking toward God for their approval.
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the school, next year, many teachers are leaving, which leaves a lot of holes in the staff and faculty.  The biggest hole, being in the English department.  Pray that recruiting happens and hearts are seeking opportunities here.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• Pray also for the adults that are playing (and still deciding to play) in the orchestra.  Pray that they are willing to practice and serve in this unique way.
• MSCrew
• Praise God A new student just applied and was accepted into MSCrew: Veronica! She is a recent believer, but she is a firecracker with a lot of potential.  Pray that she will continue to grow closer and closer to God, and that MSCrew will be part of that growth.
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, Veronica, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• They have committed to leading an Elementary Chapel next month, pray as they prepare to serve the Elementary students in this fun and exciting way
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study she has just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads.

The Outsiders of SCCLC

I had an amazing idea for a way to have a final discussion on the themes found within the book we have been reading in 7th Grade.  The Outsiders is a coming-of-age novel written by S.E. Hinton set in the 60s when gangs started to become extremely popular, and racism was in its prime.  The subculture of teen violence was huge in the 60s; so huge that the baby boomers that were involved with the violence outweighed the desperate adults that were just trying to maintain some type of order in their towns.  

The two gangs in The Outsiders were the Greasers (poor teens trying to prove themselves) and the Socs (rich kids who get little to no attention from their parents).  I couldn't help but begin to see some connections to the Greasers and the Socs as I observed the interactions I saw between my students.  Seeing that the Greasers (missionary kids) and the Socs (Bolivian rich kids) fell almost perfectly in line with the story.  I realized that for some, this story might hit a little closer to home than I might have expected.  I didn't realize, however that it would hit THIS close to home.

So sticking with the gang element, I decided that we were going to have a rumble.  Before you all get nervous and start picturing 12 and 13 year olds running around the room with knives, guns, and shanks in their hands, this was a controlled and highly symbolic rumble.  Instead of using the normal weapons, I decided to embrace the theme of prejudice, appearance, and differences.  I had no idea how this spark of an idea would turn out, but nonetheless, I was excited.

When we started reading the book, I formed them into reading groups.  In these groups, I had the students give themselves a gang name, symbol, colors, and something they were "known" for.  They loved this exercise, and were able to earn points for their gang throughout the unit.  So the last day of the unit, in line with the book, it made sense to have a rumble.

I handed out sheets of paper, all in their gang colors, and had them write down one insult (keeping it PG) that they had received or heard someone receive here at SCCLC.  After they had finished this, I told them to crumple the paper up into a ball and that would become their weapon.  I divided up the gym into four corners and allowed them to play dodgeball using the paper balls, and upon finishing, instructed them to grab a ball near them, read it, and return to class so we could discuss the words written.

Some of the things written on those sheets of paper were shocking to say the least.  There were students' names, awful language, racist words.  Everything you could imagine was written.  I was shocked, but not shocked; because having experienced it myself, Middle School is cruel. This is when everything was taken from my hands and the Holy Spirit decided to take over.

I ended up having an incredible dialogue with the 7th graders about the bullying that they see taking place, and are sometimes involved in at our school.  It was eye opening for some, it was personal for others, and it was convicting for all of them.  By the end of the discussion 3/4 of my class was in tears and I don't really remember what I said, but I was crying as well.  I know that the Holy Spirit was moving to work through these kids.  Seeing these young kids hugging eachother and loving eachother in this way was one of those moments that you never forget.  One of those moments that God uses to remind you of the reason you do the things you do.

At the end of the class period, I gave the students another sheet of paper.  I asked them to use the same weapon to write an apology for the things they had said to others in hate or with the purpose of hurting them.  I told them I wasn't going to make them give it to the person or give them a grade, it was purely for them to be honest with themselves and see how much hate can be shown through words.  I was shocked when I recceived a letter myself.

God is doing some incredible things here at the SCCLC, and I am blessed every second I can be part of it.  When I first read The Outsiders, I hated it, and didn't even want to teach it.  Now its going to be one of those books that I'll never forget.

Please say a special prayer for the 7th graders as you read this.  God isn't finished working in those kids, and I know that eventually there will be reconciliation in the hearts of every single one of them.

Thanks for reading & praying,

Rachel

Beyond the Classroom

As I start to see that this year is in the down slope, I'm thrilled to see that God has used my students to teach me lessons probably more than I actually teach them anything.  I figured I'd list and explain some of these lessons that I learned from the past couple weeks.

I am not needed.
As you know I have been leading the Middle School Crew.  We have been meeting before school every Thursday morning, and I've been really excited to be privileged to work with them and lead the Middle School.  I have been so excited that I have felt an extra responsibility and pressure to be sure that I am everything a Spiritual Leader should be: reliable, a good listener, a faithful servant, etc. etc.
Well this last Thursday, I slept through my alarm and didn't make it to our morning meeting.  I woke up thinking and whispering in superlatives (not one of my finer moments in life), and I was so disappointed in myself assuming that they were going to be so upset with me, and wouldn't bee able to function without me.
How PRIDEFUL! I apologized to all of them individually, and they all said something along the lines of "it's ok miss, we read the Bible on our own and shared our favorite verses.  We also came up with a theme for the Elementary chapel we are going to do this semester.  Then we prayed for the week and talked about life."
How awesome is it that a bunch of 12 and 13 year old kids don't need a teacher to tell them what or how to be good leaders?  I'm so proud of them, and so humbled to know that I am not needed for the Holy Spirit to do awe-inspiring and wonderful things in His children.

My MSCrew kids!  Lucas, Grace, Aram, Benji, Heyli, Shekinah, and Luke

I am not perfect.
I have one student that tends to correct me every single time I am wrong.  I laugh almost every time and remind her that no one is perfect.  I think she will become an amazing teacher one day.  But she is one of the students that God uses to teach me that I can never be good enough on my own.  I cannot do the teaching thing alone, and I need to constantly be trusting God to get me through.

I am not favored.
I had an amazing conversation with another teacher, and Mom of one of my students. This whole year I had the feeling she had been avoiding me, and I didn't understand why.  I got the strange feeling that she didn't like me, and I was puzzled as to what I had done to offend her.
It turns out that she was one of the parents that wasn't happy with my returning to the SCCLC.  I was inimidated by her from the beginning, but I have always loved having her child in my class.  Long story, short, she told me that her daughter really loves my class and that she appreciates what I have been doing this year.  She told me she wasn't happy with me being here and didn't think that her daughter would be learning in my class at all, but she was really impressed with me and RESPECTS me as a teacher.
Though I do not do what I do in order to be praised, it was really humbling and nice to be on the receiving end of some praise.  It was nice to be told by a seasoned teacher that I am doing a good job, and that she is thankful for me.  All because of her daughter sharing with her mom about my class.  It was nice to be appreciated by someone who does not favor me.

I am loved.
I caught one of my students making fun of me in an extremely cruel way during one of my classes.  Because of my lack of experience in this, I just ignored it and kept on teaching, though I was distracted.
I was so surprised at how this little act of teenage cruelty would affect my day so much.  After a good cry, I approached the student toward the end of the day, and I made it known that teachers have feelings too, and that he should think about that the next time he decides he wants to make fun of someone.
I know that I probably didn't get through to this student, but I was able to be real, open, and honest with him.  Afterwards, I got so frustrated with myself for allowing a student to hurt me in such a way.  It brought me back to my own days in Middle School where the kids were so vicious and I was on both the receiving and giving end of bullying.  But I always remember and reminded myself of the fact that  I am loved by someone who could have chosen to be a bully when he was on this Earth, and had the right to be more than anyone else, but he didn't. Jesus chose love.  He chose to forgive, and to give love, grace, and compassion.
I'm thankful for the students that make fun of me; it reminds me that I am loved by the One that matters, and he sent people that matter to love me as well.

All of these lessons that God has taught me over this time here are just the icing on the cake of an incredible year so far.  Yesterday marked 99 days until I come home.  I am officially in the double digits, and I'm trying not to anxiously await that day.  God is showing me how important it is to continually allow myself to learn more and more about Him by allowing Him to show me more and more about myself.  Its an extremely difficult thing to allow, but I'm becoming more of the woman He made me to be in the process.

Continually thankful for His unending grace,

Rachel

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the remainder of the year, that I am able to fulfill my responsibilities as both an English and Music teacher, and that the students continue to learn from me both academically and spiritually.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study we have just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads that.

From Camp to the Classroom & Back Again

This last week was extremely tranquilo and eerily quiet because the High Schoolers were away at Camp.  At least 3 students accepted Christ at this camp, and many kids rededicated their lives to Christ. From all the reports, it seemed like it was a significantly worshipful and unforgettable time for the High School.

BUT I got to go with the Junior Highers to camp last week, and it was also an awesome experience with them.  I was given the opportunity to develop relationships with my kids that go beyond the classroom.  Sometimes it can get frustrating to be in the classroom environment when I want to get to know my kids on a deeper level. ALSO the yellow team (my team) won the team competitions.  Here are some photos of the week taken by our official photographer, Haeun.

Boys playing the "don't touch the trashcan, but make everyone else touch it" game (don't remember the name)

Having to do math at camp exhausts me: counting up different colored balls we made in order to count up our points :)

Middle School worship is always an interesting and fun experience.  I was able to lead with other High Schoolers and an awesome friend, Ally Lee.

The winning team: The Cheesus Freaks.  We were a team of superheroes that all had to do with Cheese.  I was Cheese Momma.  Tayo (center) was The Big Cheese.  Others were Cheesecake, Cheesy Boy, String Cheese, Cheese it, and Cheezito....it was a lot of fun.

watergun Dodgeball.  The Big Cheese beating down the blue team! :)

The awesome High school Leaders that did such an excellent job! :)

As I look at my time here and consider what (specifically in teaching) my biggest struggles are it is drawing that teacher-student relationship line in the sand.  Finding the boundaries and learning how to uphold those boundaries.  There is such a fine line that, because of my lack of experience as a teacher, is so fine that I cannot fully see it.  This week was a hard one in Middle School because of that new development in my relationships with my students.  Some of my students understand the environmental changes and how they need to respect me; while others cannot seem to grasp that concept.

I had to discipline many students this week because I almost had to reestablish that student-teacher relationship.  I had to make it clear that I am no longer their camp-counselor that is super competitive and will stay up until all hours painting nails, eating junk food and chatting about anything and everything.  Then I realized, I don't want both.  I want either of those dynamics when ministering to youth.  I don't like having to balance both, having to remind myself which role I'm fulfilling at which time.  I'd much rather stay in camp-mode OR teacher mode.

I think God is showing me a lot about how to not only establish boundaries, but also to stick to those boundaries both in my personal and professional lives.  The hard thing that comes is that a lot of my students show up in both of those parts of my life.  Those students that are part of the missionary life as well as the teaching life. The ones that are allowed to call me Rachel outside of school and are forced to call me Miss Gentry at school.  The ones that I mentor, but also have to discipline in my classroom.  I get confused sometimes, so I can't even imagine how they must feel.

All that to say: I'd like to stick to one type of role, and I'm seeing that I like camp-mode so much better than teacher-mode.  Maybe that's telling me something about my eventual future.  Hopefully God will show me what the next step after this adventure is that will lead me to serve where and how He has designed me to serve.

Continually Seeking His Will & Waiting Patiently for Direction..

--
Rachel

{prayer requests}

• Praise that CAMP was a success!
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.