The Chase of the Blue Butterfly

A few teachers and I decided to escape Santa Cruz a couple weekends ago and take a short trip up to Samaipata.  Our friend, Kaitlyn, hadn't been yet, and we were all in the mood to get away, so we embraced spontanaity, and escaped normalcy.

almost got a glimpse

During our trip we went to visit Las Cuevas (local waterfalls), all of us had been there except for Kaitlyn, so it was extremely familiar.  (click here for pictures from my previous visit), but this time, we saw a what seemed like a million butterflies.  They were everywhere.  I was able to snap quite a few photos of different types of butterflies, but we could not get a photo of the blue butterfly that all of us found incredibly beautiful.  But it was also the most excited of the butterflies--meaning it just wouldn't stay still long enough for us to get a good photo.  So, I prayed about it, thinking WHY NOT?  I'm sure God would get the butterfly still enough to take a picture.

Still chasing that butterfly!

Well, we chased that blue butterfly all over those mountains, and at some points we swore that it was following us, but no photo.  By the end of our trip when we all had given up hope.  That blue butterfly was just as tired as we were, because it simply perched on a branch just in time for us to shoot a perfect picture. Then he fluttered away, never to be seen again.

This experience reminded me of the story in 2 Kings 6 of Elisha and the axe head.  One of Elisha's men borrowed an axe, and foolishly swung it hard enough for it to sink down to the bottom of the river.  He had a minor freakout and Elisha came to the rescue.  Elisha had faith enough in God to trust Him to restore the axe head to his man, and threw a stick into the water.  The axe head then floated to the surface and all was happy.  This is such a ridiculous story that is a simple picture of trusting God in the little things. Right after this little seemingly insignificant story happened, the contrast of God blinding all of Samaria so they could be sieged and conquered occured.  I'm not sure which of the two stories is a better example of God's power.

There are countless and continual instances when the prayers we have seem too small or too unnecessary for God to care to do anything about them.  But that is not how this God we serve runs things.  No matter how small or insignificant we think the little prayers we have are, He cares about the details of our lives.  Not only that, he doesn't allow himself to be distracted by the little things.  It all fits into His big plan.

in the middle of our picture we thought we saw the butterfly

Today, in reverence, we remember the cross.  The large action that He took for our lives.  But this large action is nothing without the details.  Have you ever stopped and looked at the teeny tiny details of His crucifixcion?  I cannot do it without welling up in tears, but every single stripe on His back was planned.  The drips of blood from his brow? Planned.  The spear in his side, the meaningful words He uttered, the convicted hearts on that day, the time of day, the way in which he was killed?  Planned.

True joy is when we are confident that He is involved in the details of our lives and comforted that the details are necessary to fill the big picture.  The master of the Universe, the God who could kill me in an instant but chose to send His son to die in my place cares enough to bless me with a detail.  If things made sense He would only be transcendant and not accessible, but He is and always will be.  The unexplainable combination of extremes: the big things and the little things--should cause us to crumble in Fear and awe and wonder.

 

I'm more than positive that on the scale of importance, our blue butterfly ranked lower than even the axe head in the Jordan River, and that is not saying much.  Despite all of that, I know that God appreciated our desire to enjoy God's creation, and amongst the chase we did.  He showed us beautiful waterfalls that overwhelmed us, he gave us moments of solitude, and lots of time to fellowship together & bond.

Moral of the story: no prayer is too small for God to answer or too insignificant for Him to care.

Here are some more photos from our time up in Samaipata:

A picture to make my mom squeal in fear :)

All four of us in the doorway of our house!

Walking over one of the bridges along the road :)

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Praise God for another quarter finishing, there is one quarter left, and we are in the home stretch!
• Pray for the students as the year is starting to wind down.  Pray that they stay focused and that those whose grades are low bring their grades up, and that they are also looking toward God for their approval.
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the school, next year, many teachers are leaving, which leaves a lot of holes in the staff and faculty.  The biggest hole, being in the English department.  Pray that recruiting happens and hearts are seeking opportunities here.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• Pray also for the adults that are playing (and still deciding to play) in the orchestra.  Pray that they are willing to practice and serve in this unique way.
• MSCrew
• Praise God A new student just applied and was accepted into MSCrew: Veronica! She is a recent believer, but she is a firecracker with a lot of potential.  Pray that she will continue to grow closer and closer to God, and that MSCrew will be part of that growth.
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, Veronica, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• They have committed to leading an Elementary Chapel next month, pray as they prepare to serve the Elementary students in this fun and exciting way
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study she has just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads.

Beyond the Classroom

As I start to see that this year is in the down slope, I'm thrilled to see that God has used my students to teach me lessons probably more than I actually teach them anything.  I figured I'd list and explain some of these lessons that I learned from the past couple weeks.

I am not needed.
As you know I have been leading the Middle School Crew.  We have been meeting before school every Thursday morning, and I've been really excited to be privileged to work with them and lead the Middle School.  I have been so excited that I have felt an extra responsibility and pressure to be sure that I am everything a Spiritual Leader should be: reliable, a good listener, a faithful servant, etc. etc.
Well this last Thursday, I slept through my alarm and didn't make it to our morning meeting.  I woke up thinking and whispering in superlatives (not one of my finer moments in life), and I was so disappointed in myself assuming that they were going to be so upset with me, and wouldn't bee able to function without me.
How PRIDEFUL! I apologized to all of them individually, and they all said something along the lines of "it's ok miss, we read the Bible on our own and shared our favorite verses.  We also came up with a theme for the Elementary chapel we are going to do this semester.  Then we prayed for the week and talked about life."
How awesome is it that a bunch of 12 and 13 year old kids don't need a teacher to tell them what or how to be good leaders?  I'm so proud of them, and so humbled to know that I am not needed for the Holy Spirit to do awe-inspiring and wonderful things in His children.

My MSCrew kids!  Lucas, Grace, Aram, Benji, Heyli, Shekinah, and Luke

I am not perfect.
I have one student that tends to correct me every single time I am wrong.  I laugh almost every time and remind her that no one is perfect.  I think she will become an amazing teacher one day.  But she is one of the students that God uses to teach me that I can never be good enough on my own.  I cannot do the teaching thing alone, and I need to constantly be trusting God to get me through.

I am not favored.
I had an amazing conversation with another teacher, and Mom of one of my students. This whole year I had the feeling she had been avoiding me, and I didn't understand why.  I got the strange feeling that she didn't like me, and I was puzzled as to what I had done to offend her.
It turns out that she was one of the parents that wasn't happy with my returning to the SCCLC.  I was inimidated by her from the beginning, but I have always loved having her child in my class.  Long story, short, she told me that her daughter really loves my class and that she appreciates what I have been doing this year.  She told me she wasn't happy with me being here and didn't think that her daughter would be learning in my class at all, but she was really impressed with me and RESPECTS me as a teacher.
Though I do not do what I do in order to be praised, it was really humbling and nice to be on the receiving end of some praise.  It was nice to be told by a seasoned teacher that I am doing a good job, and that she is thankful for me.  All because of her daughter sharing with her mom about my class.  It was nice to be appreciated by someone who does not favor me.

I am loved.
I caught one of my students making fun of me in an extremely cruel way during one of my classes.  Because of my lack of experience in this, I just ignored it and kept on teaching, though I was distracted.
I was so surprised at how this little act of teenage cruelty would affect my day so much.  After a good cry, I approached the student toward the end of the day, and I made it known that teachers have feelings too, and that he should think about that the next time he decides he wants to make fun of someone.
I know that I probably didn't get through to this student, but I was able to be real, open, and honest with him.  Afterwards, I got so frustrated with myself for allowing a student to hurt me in such a way.  It brought me back to my own days in Middle School where the kids were so vicious and I was on both the receiving and giving end of bullying.  But I always remember and reminded myself of the fact that  I am loved by someone who could have chosen to be a bully when he was on this Earth, and had the right to be more than anyone else, but he didn't. Jesus chose love.  He chose to forgive, and to give love, grace, and compassion.
I'm thankful for the students that make fun of me; it reminds me that I am loved by the One that matters, and he sent people that matter to love me as well.

All of these lessons that God has taught me over this time here are just the icing on the cake of an incredible year so far.  Yesterday marked 99 days until I come home.  I am officially in the double digits, and I'm trying not to anxiously await that day.  God is showing me how important it is to continually allow myself to learn more and more about Him by allowing Him to show me more and more about myself.  Its an extremely difficult thing to allow, but I'm becoming more of the woman He made me to be in the process.

Continually thankful for His unending grace,

Rachel

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the remainder of the year, that I am able to fulfill my responsibilities as both an English and Music teacher, and that the students continue to learn from me both academically and spiritually.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study we have just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads that.

Ambidextrous Spirituality

SAMBo Mission Conference

Last week was a week that was filled with God's presence at the SAMBo Mission Conference.  I added a bunch of pictures that highlight the week.  God brought to light a lot of issues that I have convinced myself were not issues in my life.  He showed me a lot of truth about myself.  He showed me that I need to be broken before I can heal from the things I didn't know were hurting me.

Up until this point in my time here in Bolivia I have been asking God to change me.  I've been asking for Him to mold me and shape me into the woman He sees me to be.  Though I have great motives in my prayers, my actions reflect the exact opposite desire.  I suppress my feelings so as not to impose them on others.   I don't allow things to surface because I don't want others to see me as weak.  I also don't see that others can actually help me or offer me any advice that would be worth listening to.

The Conference Committee & Jerry & Pat Sittser

The bottom line: I am alone, and there is no one trustworthy in this world that would even understand.

When I went to conference I had low, if any, expectations.  I was less than thrilled to go because all I could think about was the long list of things I needed to complete before school started.  But God used the mission conference to answer the prayer that I have been given.  He continued the transformation.  He decided to take a big chunk off of my masterpiece, and let me tell you.  This one was painful.

God used the words of our speaker, Jerry Sittser, to really convict me of my mistaken perspective.  The perspective I have thought is that in the story of my life I have been confusing my circumstances with my plot.  The plot comes out of the circumstances.  The plot develops out of the way I respond to the circumstances in which I see myself, and "God will use the toold of everything to form me into who I already should be.

He introduced the concept of ambidextrous spirituality.  Which is a fancy way of searching for God in all situations: prosperity & adversity.  Currently I find myself in the latter.  I have been sleeping in the shadows of my adversity for so long--becoming numb to emotions or feelings, and dwelling in negativity.  I cannot be a slave to my circumstances--even if they are hard.  Jerry asked the important question that I am now asking myself:

How am I responding to God where I am?

Jerry simply said "wherever you are, find God there."  He continued to unpack the concept that we are all parts of the big Story, and there is no way to know how He will use our little story to impact his own Narrative, and we have the unique privilege to be "characters who know the author."  As soon as I started processing this, I was able to see that God can reveal the plot as it continues as long as I fulfill my part: be a character devoted to the Author.

I'm just learning to accept the paradox: "for when I am weak, then I am strong."  God is showing me that as adversity continues I need to take advantage of the refining of my faith, the opportunity of learning submission & dependence, of necessary trust.

Today I had the opportunity to practice this new practice of ambidextrus spirituality.  During chapel we sang the song: "Your Great Name" there is a verse that says:

The fatherless find their rest

At the sound of Your Great Name

The sick are healed the dead are raised

At the sound of Your Great Name

As I started singing and processing those lyrics I met with God.  He showed me that He is there during adversity--and He moves mountains.  All I could think of are those friends of mine in the States.  The father that was just taken from his toddler children and their mother.   I thought of the father and son that are fighting life-altering injuries.  I thought of the man here in Bolivia that was diagnosed with Leukemia and taken to heaven within two weeks.  I thought of a fellow missionary's niece fighting for her life at home.  But at the sound of His Great Name, there is hope when it seems hopeless.

As I continue to pray for these families affected by adversity, I just pray that God will simply show Himself to them in a big way. That God will continue to develop their plot, and they will allow Him to change their lives like He is changing mine.

Hurt happens, and character is built through it all.  Please be praying for me as I continue to adopt the spiritual discipline of "wherever you are, find God there."

thanks for your prayers & support!

--
Rachel

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PRAYER REQUESTS

• The new semester schedule has been trying and a little exhausting.  Please pray that God gives me ability to get my work done and opportunity to rest
• As I start to find God wherever I am pray that He brings a mentor into my life to join me in this and that I will be able to trust those around me to help me through this process.
• Gilberto, one of the pastors at my church, La Restauracion,  just went Home to rest.  Pray for his family and the church body as well as the missionary family that serves there, it has been tough on them as they are grieving.
• Pray for the two families at FCC in the States: the Hackings and the McLeans.  Two automobile accidents have caused life-altering injuries to Brian and Josh. Pray that they will be find strength and have faith in the Great Physician.  Also for Ana and her two little kids--her fiance died this weekend in a motorcycle accident.  Pray for her grieving process and her kids.
• Pray for the Crew kids this week as they start to write out their testimonies and go through the process of being officially added to the crew.
• Pray for my students to adjust gracefully into the new semester and that they will set good goals and finish well.

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Sneaking a Peek at God's Will

Most Recent Bolivian Adventure: exploring the light displays of Santa Cruz

I have never been an easy person to surprise.  Not possessing energy to face the impossible feat of pulling the wool over my eyes, my parents never threw me a surprise party. To put it bluntly: I am nosy, and like to know what is going on.  At far too young an age I would sit with my parents as they talked to their adult friends instead of playing with the other kids, just because I wanted to know what was going on.  In middle school and high school, I loved secrets only if I knew them, and I tried to sneak a peek at my Christmas presents so much that my parents started going shopping on Christmas Eve.  Social Committee president and an a member of the Student Government, I even needed to be a person "in the know" all throughout college.  Though he has never complained about it, Dave is very aware of this flaw of mine, and has been patiently helping me enjoy and welcome surprises.

As I have continued my life journey in Bolivia, I am realizing that being "in the know" is as impossible as throwing a surprise party for me was when I was a kid.  Since I first stepped on Bolivian sand, I've been surprised so many times it doesn't even come as a shock anymore; in fact it is a shock when I am able to predict a surprise.  What has this taught me?  First--real life is not even close to what they "prepare" you for up until college graduation.  Secondly, God loves surprises, and life itself is a surprise.

In the latest chapter Dave and I have read in the devotional we are doing, Devotions for Dating Couples, Sam Adams writes about God's will.  He shares that God has two wills for our lives: his soveriegn (secret) will and His moral will.  The sovereign will is one that will be carried out regardless of our choices, and the moral will is what He asks of us--and what is shared with us in Scriptures. Adams continues, "The problem occurs when we want to sneak a peek at God's secret will before it has been revealed.  Often we are too concerned with trying to anticipate His next move."

Lately, I have found my self wondering and pondering what my next move is supposed to be at the end of this school year.  What is my next step when I get off the plane on June 15th?  I have been praying for God to make His will clear to me.  I have been praying for God to show Dave His will as we take steps together in our future.  As we plan our next steps, I am humbled by Dave's patience and faith in God's providential will--meanwhile I am a wreck waiting for both Dave and God to present me with a 5-year plan.

My prayers and expectations have been completely misguided.  I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit intervenes in prayers, because I shouldn't be praying for God to make His will clear; I should be allowing myself to seek God's moral will.  I should be fulfilling MY duty as a servant of the Lord, "love God and enjoy Him forever."

I have been re-reading My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers had an amazing Biblical example of Peter asking Jesus, "why can I not follow you now?" John 13:37.  Immediately after this questions Jesus tells Peter that He will deny Him three times, while Peter is convinced that he knows Himself better than Jesus does.  How foolish, right?  Well here I am just as guilty.  Waiting on the Lord's direction, and the Lord's will when all I need to do is stop denying Him.  

Chambers responds to this passage this way, "Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move."

I have no idea what God is planning for my future.  I don't know what I will be doing this time next year.  I don't know whether I will be single, what country I will be in, where I will be laying my head, what job I will have.  Life is full of questions.  All questions God knows the answer to, and all questions I am not ready to hear the answers to.  I am only praying that I will continue to seek God--not his unrevealed will, because  I don't want or need heartache or disappointment--I need to love God and enjoy Him forever.

Thanks for Reading, Praying and Supporting!

Rachel

*******IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, make sure you watch this video as a THANK YOU for all of the gracious support you have given me these past months!*******

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PRAYER REQUESTS:

1. SAMBo Missions Conference:  This week we could really use your prayers here at SAMBolivia.  The Missions Conference is bringing a bunch of speakers and helpers for us missionaries to be ministered to.  I'm really looking forward to the time of rejunvination, Spiritual food, fellowship, and opportunities to rest and grow in the Lord.  PLEASE pray that God will go before us, and that His truth will be shared, shown, and received.

2. SCCLC: Students and teachers start the school year again on January 14th.  The time has snuck up on a lot of us, and we could use prayers as we continue to plan for the semester.  We are half-way through! Pray that we finish this last lap of our race well!

3. MSCrew: With the start of school, comes the continuation of youth group and Crew.  Kids will be completing and handing in applications for Crew during the first week of school.  Pray for wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit as we make decisions and seek His direction with Middle School Crew.

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Warm Fuzzies

Have you ever had them?  You know what I'm talking about.  The beaming smile, not sure how to respond, warm feeling you get when someone genuinely encourages you.  Encouragement is probably one of the most powerful things to receive aside from discouragement.  Let me explain.

Since I was a child, I thrived on discouragement...negative reinforcement.  I remember a time in 6th grade when I, out of peer pressure, was blatantly disobeying one of my youth group leaders and in anger he retorted, "You're really never going to learn how to listen will you?"  From that point on I made it my goal to prove him wrong.  I was embarassed and ashamed of my behavior, but it was his stinging words that motivated me to change.  Throughout my life, I have tended to break down walls, change minds, prove people wrong.  When I was discouraged from moving forwad, I would even if it was unwise.  When I was told I couldn't do something, I'd do it in order to change the minds of those who don't know me--or judge me.

What I have discovered in my own self-evaluations, I still have the same mentality.  I hold on to discouragments much longer than encouragements, why?  Because they are more motivating.  I was pretty severely discouraged when I first arrived to Bolivia.  I was hurt by a few individuals, and my perception was that I wanted to prove those individuals wrong.  I wanted to prove that I was different than what they said I was, that I was better than they said I was.  The work I did was in vain, though.  Through my time here at the SCCLC, I worked and worked and didn't receive what I wanted: a tale-between-the-legs apology, to be told "you proved me wrong," to be given a reason to have pride.  My aim to please was directed toward the wrong people when it should have been directed to the One who sent me.

It wasn't until I attended youth group with my Junior Highers on Friday that I was shown WHY it is that I am here.  Ryan has been teaching the Junior Highers a series on bullying, and the importance of building eachother up, and encouraging one another.  He had all of the kids sit in a hot-seat and have people say encouraging things about them.  After the students were done, he had them do the same to the leaders.  I was first.  I sat with tears in my eyes as the epitamy of warm fuzzies came over me.  Student after student raised their hands and told me all of these things I have been doing right.  They told me the exact opposite of the things that on which I was discouraged.

I am not here to prove those who discourage me wrong.  I am here SERVE those whom I love, and in God's grace, though my motives were impure, that is what I have been doing.  God is the ultimate encourager.  He sees the PURE me through the weaknesses I possess.  Jesus is the mirror to the Truth of the gospel.  He sees me as perfect--and his judgement is the exact opposite of cloudy.

I read Ephesians 3 today, and saw so many things I wanted to take out of it.  What I am learning is that I need to allow my identity be rooted in Christ's love, rather than rooted in earthly motivations--whether that be discouragement or encouragement.  I need to be serving with a mentality to love and please God, no one else. The BEAUTIFUL thing that happens when I am aiming to please God is that I will naturally please and love everyone.
So the discouragements of my life have taught me two major things:
1. Discouragment may be strong enough to change a person's outlook or actions, but its not strong enough to change hearts.
2. I am not identified as Rachel Gentry, missionary middle school & music teacher.  I am identified as Rachel Gentry, daughter of the King.  So no matter what failures there may be, or discouragements that may come, the one encouragement that I will forever hold onto is that I am loved by the One whom I don't deserve to know.

THAT gives me warm fuzzies. I truly believe that God used the words of my middle schoolers to show that encouragement is indeed stronger than discouragement, and I long for the day when I do hear "well done, good and faithful servant."  I'm willing to bet that the warm fuzzies from that statement will last for eternity.

My 7th Graders :)

Thanks for reading, praying & supporting!

Rachel

Prayer Requests for the Week:
Sunday: Pray for continued development in my relationships with my Bolivian church friends.  PRAISE that I was able to have two great conversations last week.
Monday: I will begin babysitting Pam & Ryan's children while they are at HS youth group.  Pray that I look at this as a ministry opportunity to the Parsons family and their two boys.
Tuesday: Pray for the Middle School Crew meeting we are having, that the convsersation will be God-honoring and that they kids will be changed & challenged.
Wednesday: Pray for chapel to continue to make a difference in the lives of the students and teachers at the SCCLC.
Thursday: Pray for the SAM missionaries and ministries (both home and away) that are in need of funding.
Friday: Pray for Middle School youth group--that we will reach more of the students that have not yet attended.

Dia del Amor y Amistad

A bunch of friends in Bolivia celebrating Katie's birthday

Today is National Friendship Day in Bolivia so naturally I should blog about friendship and post some photos of a couple of my friends.
I'm very much an extrovert.  I love people and friends.  People help me recharge.  I admire those that enjoy their time alone and recharge alone, but its hard for me to understand their perspective on life and living.  Throughout my life I have prided myself in my relational personality.  I love to spend quality time with people.  It used to be about numbers.  HOW MANY friends can I have?  Eventually my desires in friends turned into exclusively looking for good quality friendships.

A friend God graced me with: Dpo (my roommate)

As I continue to consider my life and interactions here in Bolivia, I'm realizing how rare it is to have a good solid and real friendship.  A friendship that isn't broken by an ocean.  A friendship that passes by the mundane and pointless conversations and straight to deep heart level conversatons.  God has blessed me with amazing friends across the Globe that I can't even thank Him enough.  But the problem is that I don't thank Him at all.

Instead of thanking God for the people in my life, I put him in the backseat of my life.  I used to have a friend in High School that I would follow around and do things for.  I desperately wanted to be her friend that I would always say yes when she wanted to hang out, and when she'd cancel I'd get hurt time and time again.  I would do anything to hang out with her.  Anything to say that she was my friend.  Eventually I realized that I was HER friend, but she wasn't mine, and I needed to move on.

my best friend, Dave, on one of our skype dates! ;)

Wow.  I treat God the way my "friend" in High School treated me.  I have trouble singing the song "I have a friend in God" because I can't see my relationship with God as a friendship.  I see it as so much more formal and square than that.  But realistically, thats my own fault.  He's the last one that I ask to hang out with.  He's the last one that I talk to when I'm in a crisis, He's the last one I consult for advice when I'm making decisions.  I don't spend quality time with Him like I do with my friends or my boyfriend.  I don't carve out a specific time to skype with Him.  There are so many things in my life...the life HE gave me...that I don't include Him in.

I should be the one chasing God for a friendship, but instead He's the one chasing me.  How privileged am I that I get to be friends with the Creator of the Universe? And the thing is, he won't just move on or get tired of chasing me, but I need to stop making Him chase me and start letting Him walk alongside me in every single aspect of my day. From the simple to the complex, the happy to the sad, the normal to the abstract; God wants and yearns to be part of my life, and I should see the value in that.

Thanks for your prayers & support!

Rachel

Prayer Requests for this Week

• Saturday: Pray for me as I commit to intentionally spending time with God on a daily basis.
• Sunday: Pray for the teachers during this long weekend.  That we can relax and rest, but also catch up on work we might be behind in.
• Monday: At High School youth group, we are having a party for Santa Cruz Day. Pray that its a night of opportunities to build relationships and trusts between the leaders and students.
• Tuesday: Pray for me on my busiest day.  Pray that God will grace me with energy and drive that only comes from Him.  Pray that I will not attempt to do it on my own
• Wednesday: Pray for chapel.  That it would be a time that both teachers and students will be able to meet with God and be edified.
• Thursday: Pray for the sports teams.  That they will be a light on the field (soccer) and on the court (volleyball), and that they will have fun and be protected from injury
• Friday: Pray for the Junior High.  This is the kick off night for youth group.  Pray that they will want to come, and that their hearts will be opened to the Truth.

Spiders Teach Lessons?

In hopes to teach the parts of a plot, I shared a personal narrative with my seventh & eighth graders that might have given them a few ideas for April Fools Day this year.  The story was about my first encounter with a spider: an encounter which resulted in my never-ending fear of spiders.

As I was challenging my students to come up with a theme for the story I read them, I started thinking to myself how the theme of fear seems to continue to surface in my life.  Though I tend to have a rough exterior, and can be pretty independent, somehow I have an underlying soft tissue right below the surface, and a cloud of fear lurking over me that manages to block the Son from view.

When I decided to take on the extra job as the Elementary Music teacher at the SCCLC, I was scared out of my mind.  I showed up to the 3rd grade music class with acid in my throat, sweaty palms, and a stomach ache.  But God showed up with Tums, Talcom Powder, 7up & Crackers.  As soon as the cute little 3rd graders hesitantly walked into my class an overwhelming peace came over me, and it was like I had been teaching Music for years.  That confidence could not have come from anyone but my ultimate Protector.

Thats not the only way He has protected me this week. God has given me a lot of grace this week.  he got me through PreK and Kindergarten Music classes to the point where they might have even been the highlight of my week.  He introduced me to the 6th graders & their spunky rebellion that presents a challenge that I am more than willing to accept.  He gave me the chance to have an awesome conversation with one of my students about loving others.  He opened doors to get to know a whole different side to the SCCLC that I was blind to: the Elementary side.  God continues to show up, He continues to be my protector, and He continues to save the day.

Overall I am overwhelmed and overjoyed with blessings straight from heaven.  I knew that I needed to let go of my fears and allow God to take over.  Teaching music class wasn't (so far) as BIG of a deal as I allowed it to be in my mind. I'm being stretched in a way that has brought me joy because I knew from the beginning that I couldn't do it on my own--and I have been forced to let God protect me from my fears.  Maybe I will be able to face my fear of spiders now!
....yeah right.

Thanks for reading, encouraging & praying!  SEE BELOW for specific ways you can be praying this week!

-Rachel

Prayer Requests:

• Staff Retreat TOMORROW & SATURDAY: safe travels, rest, & bonding time w/teachers & staff
• MOVE IN DAY: Dpo & I are moving to our new apartment Sunday but we need beds! (-__-)
• SAM meetings next week on budget & other things: pray for my attention span, and effective time management
• Strength in the newness of music class & ability to develop a classroom management system
• Continued development of my relationships with students: Elementary & Middle School alike
• Wednesday CHAPELS: That God would be overwhelmingly present & kids would respond to Him
• SPORTS GAMES: safety & fun :)