O the Thinks You Can Think!

Caleb & Naomi setting the stage for things to come.

"O the thinks you can think" was the opening number of Seussical the Musical--the production we just put on for the last time this weekend. As I sat and watched them perform, I mouthed the words along with them and started to think.  I remember when we first were making the proposal to do this musical.  Emily was wide-eyed and excited, and I shared in her excitement with a little reservation--feeling that my skills as a musical director would not live up to Barlow-standards.  As the semester rolled on, we all got overwhelmed as things didn't go the way we planned, but God worked it all out and made it worth it.  I'm so glad we did it, and even more blessed to have been a part of it.

Putting on Seussical the Musical was extremely tiring and trying.  It isn't the first time I have been part of a major production, but it is the first time I have been a director of a major production. Wow...that brings a whole different type of exhaustion.  I'm so glad to have worked alongside of Emily Barlow, and I'm continually in awe of how graceful she is when she directs these shows.  She is an inspiration in so many ways.

My favorite shot Horton (Tayo) talking to the Who's on the dust speck

If I could say one thing, among many, that I learned throughout this production it would be that "no think is too small for God."  I can definitely say that Emily and I were worried--there were so many things that were not in our control as we persevered through the entire show.  There was just so much going on.  The kids were doing an excellent job and working super hard, but we were stressed out pretty much the entire time.

Going into opening night, though, everything just gelled into place in a way that only God could do.  Everyone performed at their absolute best, and the kids did one simple thing: they had fun.  I couldn't tell you how many moments I sat there watching them with tears in my eyes and the widest and cheesiest smile on my face.  They did it.  God did it.  He took their very best and made it even better, for His glory.  I'm so proud of them and everything they worked so hard to achieve.

Amazing Mayzie & the bird girls singing to Gertrude

As I stumbled through a tear-filled prayer on Saturday night, I admitted to myself that Seussical was the bittersweet beginning to the end of an unforgettable and incredible year here at SCCLC.  There has been blood, sweat, and tears that have all mushed together to make this one of the most life-changing experiences I have ever had, and I would do it again if I could.

The end of the musical marks the beginning of my transition out of SCCLC and back to the States.  I will be leaving on June 14th, and I won't be returning to the SCCLC.  God is clearly ending this chapter of my life, and I will be returning to the States to find a teaching job in inner-city Philadelphia.  Though I am at peace with this decision--a decision made a long time ago, it is extremely hard to say goodbyes without knowing when I will see these kids, teachers, and friends again.

The Wickershams "Monkey-ing Around"

Please be praying for me and the ones I love here as I transition out of Bolivia.  I have been in denial of it being a difficult one, but I know that a part of my heart is going to be left here--and its going to be hard to let go.  But--as I said before "no think is too small for God" and I cannot wait to see what he has in store for me in the coming years.

Thanks for your constant prayers & love,

Rachel

Here a few more photos from the weekend:

The show-stoppers during their shining moments :)

Emily & myself after it was all over!

The Full Cast & Crew :)

I'm so proud of my kids & blessed by them daily.  I'm not sure what to do with myself now that its all over! :)

The Chase of the Blue Butterfly

A few teachers and I decided to escape Santa Cruz a couple weekends ago and take a short trip up to Samaipata.  Our friend, Kaitlyn, hadn't been yet, and we were all in the mood to get away, so we embraced spontanaity, and escaped normalcy.

almost got a glimpse

During our trip we went to visit Las Cuevas (local waterfalls), all of us had been there except for Kaitlyn, so it was extremely familiar.  (click here for pictures from my previous visit), but this time, we saw a what seemed like a million butterflies.  They were everywhere.  I was able to snap quite a few photos of different types of butterflies, but we could not get a photo of the blue butterfly that all of us found incredibly beautiful.  But it was also the most excited of the butterflies--meaning it just wouldn't stay still long enough for us to get a good photo.  So, I prayed about it, thinking WHY NOT?  I'm sure God would get the butterfly still enough to take a picture.

Still chasing that butterfly!

Well, we chased that blue butterfly all over those mountains, and at some points we swore that it was following us, but no photo.  By the end of our trip when we all had given up hope.  That blue butterfly was just as tired as we were, because it simply perched on a branch just in time for us to shoot a perfect picture. Then he fluttered away, never to be seen again.

This experience reminded me of the story in 2 Kings 6 of Elisha and the axe head.  One of Elisha's men borrowed an axe, and foolishly swung it hard enough for it to sink down to the bottom of the river.  He had a minor freakout and Elisha came to the rescue.  Elisha had faith enough in God to trust Him to restore the axe head to his man, and threw a stick into the water.  The axe head then floated to the surface and all was happy.  This is such a ridiculous story that is a simple picture of trusting God in the little things. Right after this little seemingly insignificant story happened, the contrast of God blinding all of Samaria so they could be sieged and conquered occured.  I'm not sure which of the two stories is a better example of God's power.

There are countless and continual instances when the prayers we have seem too small or too unnecessary for God to care to do anything about them.  But that is not how this God we serve runs things.  No matter how small or insignificant we think the little prayers we have are, He cares about the details of our lives.  Not only that, he doesn't allow himself to be distracted by the little things.  It all fits into His big plan.

in the middle of our picture we thought we saw the butterfly

Today, in reverence, we remember the cross.  The large action that He took for our lives.  But this large action is nothing without the details.  Have you ever stopped and looked at the teeny tiny details of His crucifixcion?  I cannot do it without welling up in tears, but every single stripe on His back was planned.  The drips of blood from his brow? Planned.  The spear in his side, the meaningful words He uttered, the convicted hearts on that day, the time of day, the way in which he was killed?  Planned.

True joy is when we are confident that He is involved in the details of our lives and comforted that the details are necessary to fill the big picture.  The master of the Universe, the God who could kill me in an instant but chose to send His son to die in my place cares enough to bless me with a detail.  If things made sense He would only be transcendant and not accessible, but He is and always will be.  The unexplainable combination of extremes: the big things and the little things--should cause us to crumble in Fear and awe and wonder.

 

I'm more than positive that on the scale of importance, our blue butterfly ranked lower than even the axe head in the Jordan River, and that is not saying much.  Despite all of that, I know that God appreciated our desire to enjoy God's creation, and amongst the chase we did.  He showed us beautiful waterfalls that overwhelmed us, he gave us moments of solitude, and lots of time to fellowship together & bond.

Moral of the story: no prayer is too small for God to answer or too insignificant for Him to care.

Here are some more photos from our time up in Samaipata:

A picture to make my mom squeal in fear :)

All four of us in the doorway of our house!

Walking over one of the bridges along the road :)

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Praise God for another quarter finishing, there is one quarter left, and we are in the home stretch!
• Pray for the students as the year is starting to wind down.  Pray that they stay focused and that those whose grades are low bring their grades up, and that they are also looking toward God for their approval.
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the school, next year, many teachers are leaving, which leaves a lot of holes in the staff and faculty.  The biggest hole, being in the English department.  Pray that recruiting happens and hearts are seeking opportunities here.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• Pray also for the adults that are playing (and still deciding to play) in the orchestra.  Pray that they are willing to practice and serve in this unique way.
• MSCrew
• Praise God A new student just applied and was accepted into MSCrew: Veronica! She is a recent believer, but she is a firecracker with a lot of potential.  Pray that she will continue to grow closer and closer to God, and that MSCrew will be part of that growth.
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, Veronica, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• They have committed to leading an Elementary Chapel next month, pray as they prepare to serve the Elementary students in this fun and exciting way
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study she has just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads.

Beyond the Classroom

As I start to see that this year is in the down slope, I'm thrilled to see that God has used my students to teach me lessons probably more than I actually teach them anything.  I figured I'd list and explain some of these lessons that I learned from the past couple weeks.

I am not needed.
As you know I have been leading the Middle School Crew.  We have been meeting before school every Thursday morning, and I've been really excited to be privileged to work with them and lead the Middle School.  I have been so excited that I have felt an extra responsibility and pressure to be sure that I am everything a Spiritual Leader should be: reliable, a good listener, a faithful servant, etc. etc.
Well this last Thursday, I slept through my alarm and didn't make it to our morning meeting.  I woke up thinking and whispering in superlatives (not one of my finer moments in life), and I was so disappointed in myself assuming that they were going to be so upset with me, and wouldn't bee able to function without me.
How PRIDEFUL! I apologized to all of them individually, and they all said something along the lines of "it's ok miss, we read the Bible on our own and shared our favorite verses.  We also came up with a theme for the Elementary chapel we are going to do this semester.  Then we prayed for the week and talked about life."
How awesome is it that a bunch of 12 and 13 year old kids don't need a teacher to tell them what or how to be good leaders?  I'm so proud of them, and so humbled to know that I am not needed for the Holy Spirit to do awe-inspiring and wonderful things in His children.

My MSCrew kids!  Lucas, Grace, Aram, Benji, Heyli, Shekinah, and Luke

I am not perfect.
I have one student that tends to correct me every single time I am wrong.  I laugh almost every time and remind her that no one is perfect.  I think she will become an amazing teacher one day.  But she is one of the students that God uses to teach me that I can never be good enough on my own.  I cannot do the teaching thing alone, and I need to constantly be trusting God to get me through.

I am not favored.
I had an amazing conversation with another teacher, and Mom of one of my students. This whole year I had the feeling she had been avoiding me, and I didn't understand why.  I got the strange feeling that she didn't like me, and I was puzzled as to what I had done to offend her.
It turns out that she was one of the parents that wasn't happy with my returning to the SCCLC.  I was inimidated by her from the beginning, but I have always loved having her child in my class.  Long story, short, she told me that her daughter really loves my class and that she appreciates what I have been doing this year.  She told me she wasn't happy with me being here and didn't think that her daughter would be learning in my class at all, but she was really impressed with me and RESPECTS me as a teacher.
Though I do not do what I do in order to be praised, it was really humbling and nice to be on the receiving end of some praise.  It was nice to be told by a seasoned teacher that I am doing a good job, and that she is thankful for me.  All because of her daughter sharing with her mom about my class.  It was nice to be appreciated by someone who does not favor me.

I am loved.
I caught one of my students making fun of me in an extremely cruel way during one of my classes.  Because of my lack of experience in this, I just ignored it and kept on teaching, though I was distracted.
I was so surprised at how this little act of teenage cruelty would affect my day so much.  After a good cry, I approached the student toward the end of the day, and I made it known that teachers have feelings too, and that he should think about that the next time he decides he wants to make fun of someone.
I know that I probably didn't get through to this student, but I was able to be real, open, and honest with him.  Afterwards, I got so frustrated with myself for allowing a student to hurt me in such a way.  It brought me back to my own days in Middle School where the kids were so vicious and I was on both the receiving and giving end of bullying.  But I always remember and reminded myself of the fact that  I am loved by someone who could have chosen to be a bully when he was on this Earth, and had the right to be more than anyone else, but he didn't. Jesus chose love.  He chose to forgive, and to give love, grace, and compassion.
I'm thankful for the students that make fun of me; it reminds me that I am loved by the One that matters, and he sent people that matter to love me as well.

All of these lessons that God has taught me over this time here are just the icing on the cake of an incredible year so far.  Yesterday marked 99 days until I come home.  I am officially in the double digits, and I'm trying not to anxiously await that day.  God is showing me how important it is to continually allow myself to learn more and more about Him by allowing Him to show me more and more about myself.  Its an extremely difficult thing to allow, but I'm becoming more of the woman He made me to be in the process.

Continually thankful for His unending grace,

Rachel

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the remainder of the year, that I am able to fulfill my responsibilities as both an English and Music teacher, and that the students continue to learn from me both academically and spiritually.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study we have just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads that.

From Camp to the Classroom & Back Again

This last week was extremely tranquilo and eerily quiet because the High Schoolers were away at Camp.  At least 3 students accepted Christ at this camp, and many kids rededicated their lives to Christ. From all the reports, it seemed like it was a significantly worshipful and unforgettable time for the High School.

BUT I got to go with the Junior Highers to camp last week, and it was also an awesome experience with them.  I was given the opportunity to develop relationships with my kids that go beyond the classroom.  Sometimes it can get frustrating to be in the classroom environment when I want to get to know my kids on a deeper level. ALSO the yellow team (my team) won the team competitions.  Here are some photos of the week taken by our official photographer, Haeun.

Boys playing the "don't touch the trashcan, but make everyone else touch it" game (don't remember the name)

Having to do math at camp exhausts me: counting up different colored balls we made in order to count up our points :)

Middle School worship is always an interesting and fun experience.  I was able to lead with other High Schoolers and an awesome friend, Ally Lee.

The winning team: The Cheesus Freaks.  We were a team of superheroes that all had to do with Cheese.  I was Cheese Momma.  Tayo (center) was The Big Cheese.  Others were Cheesecake, Cheesy Boy, String Cheese, Cheese it, and Cheezito....it was a lot of fun.

watergun Dodgeball.  The Big Cheese beating down the blue team! :)

The awesome High school Leaders that did such an excellent job! :)

As I look at my time here and consider what (specifically in teaching) my biggest struggles are it is drawing that teacher-student relationship line in the sand.  Finding the boundaries and learning how to uphold those boundaries.  There is such a fine line that, because of my lack of experience as a teacher, is so fine that I cannot fully see it.  This week was a hard one in Middle School because of that new development in my relationships with my students.  Some of my students understand the environmental changes and how they need to respect me; while others cannot seem to grasp that concept.

I had to discipline many students this week because I almost had to reestablish that student-teacher relationship.  I had to make it clear that I am no longer their camp-counselor that is super competitive and will stay up until all hours painting nails, eating junk food and chatting about anything and everything.  Then I realized, I don't want both.  I want either of those dynamics when ministering to youth.  I don't like having to balance both, having to remind myself which role I'm fulfilling at which time.  I'd much rather stay in camp-mode OR teacher mode.

I think God is showing me a lot about how to not only establish boundaries, but also to stick to those boundaries both in my personal and professional lives.  The hard thing that comes is that a lot of my students show up in both of those parts of my life.  Those students that are part of the missionary life as well as the teaching life. The ones that are allowed to call me Rachel outside of school and are forced to call me Miss Gentry at school.  The ones that I mentor, but also have to discipline in my classroom.  I get confused sometimes, so I can't even imagine how they must feel.

All that to say: I'd like to stick to one type of role, and I'm seeing that I like camp-mode so much better than teacher-mode.  Maybe that's telling me something about my eventual future.  Hopefully God will show me what the next step after this adventure is that will lead me to serve where and how He has designed me to serve.

Continually Seeking His Will & Waiting Patiently for Direction..

--
Rachel

{prayer requests}

• Praise that CAMP was a success!
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.

The "Wow" Factor

Could it be a universal truth that the human race has a desire to be remembered? We have been in search for ways to leave an impression. Whether shallow and temporary or deep and lasting, we feed on the satisfaction of being thought of after we are no longer in sight.  Though it can be draining after a while, I suspect that a mom gets a small beam of satisfaction when she hears her toddler cry when she leaves him in the nursery or at school.  My junior high girls thrive on drama--though they complain that gossip goes on, they talk about being talked about and as it continues its almost as if they like the attention it gives them.  As a teacher, I am ecstatic if I see one of my kids getting interested in a book they are reading, or talking about the haiku they just wrote outside of class.  I tell myself that I'm doing something right--that they are learning and applying their knowledge.  Its the greatest feeling in the world when the work that I put in is actually paying off, even if it's just a little bit.

While I was wondering around and marvelling at the breathtaking ruins of Machupicchu, I couldn't help but wonder how it would feel like to be the Incan architect of the ancient ruin--and to hypothetically observe all of the people still drooling over my creation.  I mean what if that architect knew that his work was still being visited daily by thousands of people all over the world, after thousands of years.  I wonder if he would have done something differently--or if he'd have shown off even more with his skills and plans--or be thinking--what's the big deal?  Its just a little town.  I wonder if he failed in his architectural design schooling.  I'm sure he was an average Jose, right?  A normal Incan guy that had an idea one day--and had the guts to see it through.  I wonder if he even wanted to be known by thousands for thousands of years.

I have been reading In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.  The story is based off of the unpopular Biblical narrative of Benaiah, one of David's soldiers.  This guy decided to chase a lion into a pit and kill it--which earned him a prestigious position in David's army. One that left an impression on others.  Could you imagine the soldiers that he was in charge of talking about him as he was getting ready to train them to fight Babylon?  Or even the ways that the story might have been skewed and adjusted?  --"I heard he fought a lion with his bare hands and left nothing but the bones." --"Well, I hear that he ate the whole lion and has the skin hanging up above his bed." --"Really?  I heard he just told the story to get a job and he really ran away."  I'm sure there were more.  Regardless of the truth, Benaiah left a legacy--he managed to be someone that caused people to say "wow!"  He affected conversations just by doing what he was doing---and pursuing what God called him to pursue.

How inspiring is that?  I want to have that "wow" factor.  I want to be one of those people that makes and impression.  The ones that even after they are gone are ranted and raved about.  I want to be someone that people want to be.  Its not that I want to be famous; I'd find that kind of exposure a little too stressful.  In my miniscule span of influence--I want to be known as one who radiates the "wow" factor that only God can truly have.

But at the end of the day, I'm sure that both Benaiah and that Incan architect were just living their lives. It could have been just a normal day where they followed through on a vision that they were given, and that made all the difference.  When I piggy-backed on the tours that were given of Machupicchu I heard a whole lot of speculation: this house might have been placed here for worship of the gods, or during the winter solstice this rock lines up with the sun, so they probably did this on purpose, etc. etc.  But I suspect that if we could speak to the architect today, he would say that he dropped that rock their and it was too heavy to pick up, so... Or I'm sure that if we spoke to Benaiah and asked him why it was that he chased that lion, expecting him to go into a long theological discussion, he would say.. I just felt like chasing a lion.

So at the end of the day: I'm sure that even me: a simple Junior High teacher in Bolivia can develop that romantic "wow" factor just by living the day to day.  I cannot truly know the impact I make on my immediate span of influence in the moment.  So rather than trying really hard to influence those I see o a daily basis, I'm choosing to live for the One I want to impress: God.  If nothing else, I can influence others to do the same.

NOW for pictures of Machupicchu:

Thanks for reading!

--
Rachel

{prayer requests}

• CAMP is this week! 
• Please pray for both Ryan Parsons and Mike Banks as they lead the junior highers and high schoolers in an unforgettable week at camp.
• Pray for the HS leaders at Jr High Camp: Tayo, Emily, Abby, Ramona, Caleb, Cesar, 
• Pray for the Worship Team: Ally Lee and Myself (adult leaders) and the HS and JH leaders: Ramona, Emily, Grace, Cesar, and Tayo
• Pray for those left behind to sub for the teachers going to camp, as well as the general population of SCCLC to continue to grow in our absence
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna Bennets.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.

Sneaking a Peek at God's Will

Most Recent Bolivian Adventure: exploring the light displays of Santa Cruz

I have never been an easy person to surprise.  Not possessing energy to face the impossible feat of pulling the wool over my eyes, my parents never threw me a surprise party. To put it bluntly: I am nosy, and like to know what is going on.  At far too young an age I would sit with my parents as they talked to their adult friends instead of playing with the other kids, just because I wanted to know what was going on.  In middle school and high school, I loved secrets only if I knew them, and I tried to sneak a peek at my Christmas presents so much that my parents started going shopping on Christmas Eve.  Social Committee president and an a member of the Student Government, I even needed to be a person "in the know" all throughout college.  Though he has never complained about it, Dave is very aware of this flaw of mine, and has been patiently helping me enjoy and welcome surprises.

As I have continued my life journey in Bolivia, I am realizing that being "in the know" is as impossible as throwing a surprise party for me was when I was a kid.  Since I first stepped on Bolivian sand, I've been surprised so many times it doesn't even come as a shock anymore; in fact it is a shock when I am able to predict a surprise.  What has this taught me?  First--real life is not even close to what they "prepare" you for up until college graduation.  Secondly, God loves surprises, and life itself is a surprise.

In the latest chapter Dave and I have read in the devotional we are doing, Devotions for Dating Couples, Sam Adams writes about God's will.  He shares that God has two wills for our lives: his soveriegn (secret) will and His moral will.  The sovereign will is one that will be carried out regardless of our choices, and the moral will is what He asks of us--and what is shared with us in Scriptures. Adams continues, "The problem occurs when we want to sneak a peek at God's secret will before it has been revealed.  Often we are too concerned with trying to anticipate His next move."

Lately, I have found my self wondering and pondering what my next move is supposed to be at the end of this school year.  What is my next step when I get off the plane on June 15th?  I have been praying for God to make His will clear to me.  I have been praying for God to show Dave His will as we take steps together in our future.  As we plan our next steps, I am humbled by Dave's patience and faith in God's providential will--meanwhile I am a wreck waiting for both Dave and God to present me with a 5-year plan.

My prayers and expectations have been completely misguided.  I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit intervenes in prayers, because I shouldn't be praying for God to make His will clear; I should be allowing myself to seek God's moral will.  I should be fulfilling MY duty as a servant of the Lord, "love God and enjoy Him forever."

I have been re-reading My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers had an amazing Biblical example of Peter asking Jesus, "why can I not follow you now?" John 13:37.  Immediately after this questions Jesus tells Peter that He will deny Him three times, while Peter is convinced that he knows Himself better than Jesus does.  How foolish, right?  Well here I am just as guilty.  Waiting on the Lord's direction, and the Lord's will when all I need to do is stop denying Him.  

Chambers responds to this passage this way, "Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move."

I have no idea what God is planning for my future.  I don't know what I will be doing this time next year.  I don't know whether I will be single, what country I will be in, where I will be laying my head, what job I will have.  Life is full of questions.  All questions God knows the answer to, and all questions I am not ready to hear the answers to.  I am only praying that I will continue to seek God--not his unrevealed will, because  I don't want or need heartache or disappointment--I need to love God and enjoy Him forever.

Thanks for Reading, Praying and Supporting!

Rachel

*******IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, make sure you watch this video as a THANK YOU for all of the gracious support you have given me these past months!*******

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PRAYER REQUESTS:

1. SAMBo Missions Conference:  This week we could really use your prayers here at SAMBolivia.  The Missions Conference is bringing a bunch of speakers and helpers for us missionaries to be ministered to.  I'm really looking forward to the time of rejunvination, Spiritual food, fellowship, and opportunities to rest and grow in the Lord.  PLEASE pray that God will go before us, and that His truth will be shared, shown, and received.

2. SCCLC: Students and teachers start the school year again on January 14th.  The time has snuck up on a lot of us, and we could use prayers as we continue to plan for the semester.  We are half-way through! Pray that we finish this last lap of our race well!

3. MSCrew: With the start of school, comes the continuation of youth group and Crew.  Kids will be completing and handing in applications for Crew during the first week of school.  Pray for wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit as we make decisions and seek His direction with Middle School Crew.

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Hello, My Name is: Sid the Sloth

Sometimes I like speaking with a lisp like Sid the Sloth in Ice Age.  It makes me chuckle, and sometimes it makes others chuckle, but its mostly for self amusement.  I did realize, however that this week I was given the opportunity to become more like Sid the Sloth than his lisping speech.  I was actually adopting the actions of a sloth.

Unexpectedly, the combination of other Mission board meetings, the Bolivian census as well the Thanksgiving holiday gave myself and the rest of the SCCLC teachers and students the week off.  I had been itching to get out of Santa Cruz and surround myself with beautiful views, so I went with seven other teachers on an adventure in Samaipata from Friday to Monday, a little mountain town outside of the city.  We did a bunch of day hikes, swam under some waterfalls, and discovered Incan ruins.  It was a beautiful and restful time.

The ladies all swimming at Las Cuevas.  It took a lot of energy to take this photo.

Seeking shelter behind the waterfall at Las Cuevas in Samaipata, Bolivia.

The breathtaking view on the top of El Fuerte.

our BEST jumping picture of the group of us.

at El Fuerte, the Incan ruins outside of Samaipata

Swingset at the top of El Pueblito

Tuesday we returned, and we were required to be in our homes on the day of the Census (Wednesday) which was also my roommate, Dpo's, birthday so we celebrated with a Back to the Future marathon.  This is when the slothfulness started for me.  We ate cake, lasagna, tacos, and more cake whilst sitting, watching movies, and talking.

Dpo & her birthday cake :)

Then came Thursday.  the SAMily decided to postpone Thanksgiving dinner to Friday in case the Census wasn't finished, so we had another day at home.  I developed a bit of cabin fever so myself and another teacher went to a cute little store called Casa Ideas, and walked around a bit.  Then I came home and started watching my new show of obsession: Prison Break (only recommended if you have a lot of time on your hands).  Then all of a sudden it was 3am and Thursday had come and gone.

Then it was Friday: our Thanksgiving feast day: The ULTIMATE slothful holiday.  Where its ok to eat massive amounts of food and sit because we are giving thanks!  I managed to celebrate the right way.  Thank God. Eat. Thank others. Eat. Thank God more. Sleep. Wake up. Eat. Sleep.

Saturday was like any other Saturday: sleep until 2pm, read, and watch a movie (in this case it was Prison Break).  I did manage to talk to a few friends on Skype, though! :)

All this to say: I was Sid the Sloth this week.  I knew I needed some rest from school and from the everyday life that tends to empty me of energy, but this was a little too extreme.  I was like a high schooler on Christmas vacation.  It was unhealthy rest.

God has shown me a little of my heart this week: if given the chance to be lazy I will be lazy.  If given the chance to slack off, I will slack off.  I went to church today with the expectation to be fed, and I was disappointed.  In my mind I started blaming the church itself and getting frustrated that I feel like I am never fed at church here in Bolivia because of the language barrier.  But God showed me that it was ME that was the problem, not the church.  My mind wasn't in the right place to receive the Word of the Lord; it wasn't even close.  I hadn't spent time with God in so long that it was as if I was listening for a stranger's voice to tell me what I wanted to hear.

Proverbs 12:11 says "Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger."

I was in a deep sleep, and I was definitely suffering hunger.  I was not taking care of myself spiritually.
This entire week I slacked off and became idle.  I forgot to spend all that extra time I was given with the One who gave it to me.  I know that it is not a sin to rest in Him, but I need to learn what that looks like.  How to wisely spend my time with God so that I can continue to be fed by His Word and words.  Pray that I will learn how to rest in HIM in a healthy and Godly way, rather than in an unhealthy self-gaining way.  Pray that I will run away from the attractive temptation to become Sid the Sloth.

Thanks for your prayers and support!

Rachel

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PRAYER REQUESTS FOR THIS WEEK:

• CHRISTMAS PROGRAM (Dec. 14th)
• PLEASE pray that all of the kids will be excited but FOCUSED as the program is rapidly approaching
• Pray that those with LINES will study hard so that they will have their lines memorized
• Pray for the behind the scene details will come together
• Pray for MY focus and sanity as I direct everyone, that I will rely on God's strength not my own
• YOUTH GROUP
• Pray that those that are part of the Crew meetings will continue to seek God in the decisions we make for the rules and expectations of Crew.
• Pray that God will give te Junior Highers opportunities to share and receive the Gospel.
• Pray that MORE Junior Highers will desire to come to youth group and be part of the crowd.
• SCCLC
• Pray that the students and teachers will work diligently to catch up and get re-focused after such a long break
• Pray for those students finishing up their homework tonight; that they will stay focused and work well
• Pray for the rest of this quarter as Christmas is coming up that we will be able to live each day to the fullest rather than just survive until the end.
• PERSONAL
• Pray that I can learn how to REST in Him, rather than in my own selfish gain
• Pray that I will find myself a mentor here in Bolivia so that I can continue to be lifted up and to grow.
• Pray that I can continue to develop my relationships with the other teachers outside of school.
• Pray for opportunities to build relationships with my students.

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For Better or Worse

God is teaching me a lot about the importance of being DEVOTED to him.  Through some of my very own students, he is showing me that He needs to be my number one.  I have to be "hopelessly devoted" to Him, for better or worse.

Ryan has been teaching a series to the students at the SCCLC about "tying the knot." He started with the symbol of Tying the Knot with God.  Allow Jesus to be the knot that ties you to God and connects you to Him.  He continued it with a challenge and question for the kids if they have even tied the knot.  Then his last sermon was about TIGHTENING the knot.  Continuing in the sanctification process and allowing God to be your groom.  PUBLICALLY sharing your devotion to Christ.  He showed the video below as a challenge to the kids:

After Ryan spoke last week, he gave all of the kids an index card and challenged them to write their "vows" to God and return them to him this week.

This week, he gave the kids the opportunity to share their vows in front of the school.  The tears started flowing as student after student came up and shared their personal committments to follow and submit to Christ.  I couldn't help but be convicted as I sat there and listened to these kids share from their hearts.

I might get married someday soon, but I know that I don't want that to happen until I've already devoted my heart and my life to my Savior.  So I have decided to follow my students who I'm supposed to lead and write my own vows to Jesus, my bridegroom.

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VOWS TO MY BELOVED

You are my past, my present and my endless future and 

I know that You will never change.

You are faithful when I am falling, 

You give me grace when I return to You, and 

You love me when I don't remember to love You.  

You put me first when I put you last.  

What else can I do but commit to loving You eternally?  

What else can I do but vow to serve You until I see you in heaven?  

What else can I do but publically promise to follow You? 

Wherever it may lead.  

For better or worse, I promise to stand by You 

because I know that even in the worse parts of my temporary time here I can find comfort in You 

because You are my Healer, Sustainer, and Provider.  

I know that there will be countless betters because I can confidently say that 

our relationship will last longer than time can measure. 

So with this convenant I stand firm on the truth that You will never fail me, 

and though I cannot promise that I won't fail you, 

I can promise that I will remain faithfully and forever Yours, 

my bridegroom & my first Love.

Eternally devoted, 

Your Rachel Gentry

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Have you written Vows to your Savior?  I challenge you to also take the step to publically share and declare your love for your Beloved.  Listen to the song (below) that was being explained above, and meditate on the words.  God isn't finished with you, me or anyone, and He desires for us all to share and declare our endless love for Him.

Thanks for listening,

Rachel.