Middle School Mind

This is a Toborochi tree--one of the beautiful pieces of Bolivia that I will miss.

I think I might write a book on this someday..if I ever decide to get a Doctorate in Psychology...(yeah right).  That aside, this is about as far as my psychological studies go: the middle school mind.

Let's begin.  Here is my theory: whenever someone is dealing with a dramatic life change or transition, that person gets what I like to call "middle-school-mind." Think about it! When was the first time of transition in your life? MIDDLE SCHOOL.  My theory is pretty much that our minds subconciously revert back to the trauma of Middle School when we reach another big place of transition.  It is just that we THINK we handle it differently, but we don't. We return to whatever trauma we dealt with in Middle School and respond exactly the same way.

Last week, my 7th Graders finished The Hobbit and their final
project was a board game

When I was in Middle School, I went through a lot of phases.  Looking back on it, I could label the entire phase-bounce with one word: awkward.  I bounced back in forth between friends: I experimented in a lot of areas to figure out my identity--the skaters, the jocks, the drama-geeks, the bandies, back to the skaters, the goth kids, and so forth. I searched and searched for a place I belonged.  It wasn't until I realized that I had too many hobbies and liked too many people to settle on and with one group of individuals.  So I celebrated each clique and was aquaintances with them all.  As I transitioned into High School, I continued the same pattern, and even into college.

I could probably count on one hand the amount of close friends I acquired over the years; because what started out as loving everyone equally--became shutting people out.  I realized quickly that friends are seasonal and the seasons were shorter than I thought.  I started walking through life alone because my only constants were myself, God, and my family.  I still have this same tendency: the belief that I am alone--something that this experience in Bolivia has, and continues to beat out of my mind--or validate, depending on the day.

THIS is why Middle School is probably the MOST VALUABLE ministry there is.  Ok that might be a blanket statement, but hear me out.  How differently would you have acted in Middle School had someone come alongside of you to help you think through your crazyness and learn how to deal with it?  When you went through that concrete thought-abstract thought transition--how awesome would it have been to have someone help you understand your own mind?  This is the reason I love Middle Schoolers.  Yes, they can be a little difficult to deal with, but aren't we all when we cannot figure out what is up or down or how to handle it.  I wish that someone would have told me and been there for me through the transition.  I wish someone would have grained the fact that relationships matter--and that I should hold on to those I love.

These 7th graders made all of Mirkwood out of Legos! :)

If you think back to your middle school experience, I'm sure that you all have incredibly loaded stories, and I'm sure you could analyze your middle school mind and see a pattern. Learning what your true identity is usually is the biggest part of it.  What is it that we are searching for again when we are going through the transition that is college?  What is my major?  How will I fit in society?  What about when we graduate from college?  Where am I going to find a job?  How will I pay these bills?  Why did I major in that?  I haven't felt the pressures of the transition into marriage and family, but I'm sure there is still some kind of middle school mind in there somewhere.

My point is this: Life is rickety security between awkward transitions.  Middle school is when we first learn how to transition.  So if we don't teach that basic life skill to the middle schoolers in our lives, we are raising citizens that will not know how to embrace transition and allow it to be something that they can look forward to.

All that to say, I currently have middle school mind.  My mind is in a million places at once: attempting to process through my year as a teacher, as a missionary, as a friend, as a colleague, as a mentor...attempting to still embrace the moments I still have in those roles, but also attempting to let go of those roles and begin to transition and prepare myself for my role-shift to the States.  I'm in the middle of an identity crisis and my awkward transitional phase is taking over my mind.

I loved how unique they were.
This group's looked like Candy Land

God has been comforting me with the passage in Ecclesiastes 3 that reminds me that this awkward stage is one of the seasons--not just an unidentifiable time between the seasons: "a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing."  God has shown me that transition is a necessary part of His plan.  The very act of Him molding and shaping us--sanctification is a constant and awkward place of transition.  Throughout His Word, he continually commands us to enjoy the work He has given us.  To "run the race" to serve one another in Love.  This is our lot in life, and He, through His grace, uses it to mold us into ones worthy of this calling.

Middle School is awkward.  Its a time where we are unsure if we are alone in our confusion or if others are in the same place.  We aren't sure if we can ask for help.  We aren't sure if people want to help.  Its a time of questions without answers that you like.  A time of searching for something invisible.  A time of identity confusion, and time where your minds turn to sponges.  We are all going through points in our lives where we have this middle school mind, and God simply wants us to embrace HIM as not only the author of the big story, but the revisor and editor and publisher of it all--including our small part in the Narrative.  We just have to get through Middle School--not just to get through, but embrace the moments by having the attitude that He is molding us as He prepares us for eternal glory.

Thanks for reading & your continual support.

Rachel

{prayer requests}

{SCCLC}

• End of the Year: kids {and teachers} get really hyper and unfocused this time of year.  Pray that they continue to love eachother and embrace the moments they have for the end of the year.
• Finals: pray for finals week (next week) that the students remember what they have studied and that the teachers are able to finish grading
• Seniors: pray for them as they hit graduation & also develop their transitional middle school minds this summer in their endeavors, whether college or not

{MSCrew}

• Pray for the kids this summer.  That they continue to grow spiritually & that they continue to lead & serve their school as the next year approached.
• Pray for the students who have disciplers that are leaving.  This is a VERY hard thing for kids to be ok with--a lot of people and not much consistency. Pray that God brings more good spiritual leaders into their lives, and that their relationships with us will continue to grow across oceans.
• PRAISE for their successful chapel time--photos to come...they did an excellent job, and I'm extremely proud of them!

{Personal}

• Transition into the States: pray that I will "laugh at the future" (Prov. 31:25) and that God will ease my anxiety about what is to come.
• I need a VEHICLE when I return to the States--pray that I will find one--and financially be able to work that out.
• I'm looking for a job for next school year.  Please pray that as I interview--the right door will be opened and the wrong ones will be closed.  Pray for patience & faith in this process as well.
• Pray for the remainder of my time here.  That I will embrace my time, and not allow myself to "worry about tomorrow."

Breathing Emptyness

I have asthma.  When you have asthma its like you are breathing emptyness.  Like you are putting forth all of this work but nothing really gets through.  Your lungs don't fill with oxygen no matter how hard or deep you breathe, nothing works.  The air is blocked until you reach for an inhaler that clears the passage.  I can't even describe the feeling that comes once the Albuterol medicine passes through my esophogus.  Its like freedom.  Like I'm able to breathe again.  Like I'm no longer breathing emptyness.

Lately I have felt like a fish out of water.  I have felt less and less equipped to finish this journey that God has set into motion here in Bolivia.  Like I'm stuck and putting forth the effort, but not really doing it successfully.  Like nothing I do or try to do is running the machine.  I'm suffocating.  I have been existing with a half-here mind.  Its not like I am not trying to do well.  Its not like I'm not fulfilling my expectations, but I'm not here.  I'm not in Bolivia--in my mind.

This past weekend, a group of about 20 students went to the plaza to share their testimonies with strangers.  God used them in mighty mighty ways, and they were overjoyed and fired up about the experience. If I gave you a list of the Spiritual gifts I posses that list would not include evangelism.  That fact paired with my broken Spanish could tell you how comfortable I was on this adventure throughout the plaza.  How encouraging it was, though, to be able to witness the movement of the Holy Spirit in these kids.  They were energized by their conversations and I watched their faces light up as they shared their stories.  I watched them praying over the broken people they were talking to, and I got to capture their excitement in some of the photos.

All of these kids were scared, but they were given boldness to share the truth of the Word which turned into an excitement and a viral joy.  The plaza was changed on Saturday morning, and we were the movers and shakers that made that change.  Some of these kids are normally timid and fearful of the people that surround them and love them daily.  All of them were out of their comfort zones, but lives were changed because they obeyed--and they were relying on God to get them through.

Through this experience and others this week, God has shown me quite a few things about my heart.  One very important one: it doesn't beat without my Creator.  No matter how hard I try, I cannot breathe on my own.  Without the breath of the Holy Spirit, this relationship that I am in with the Creator of the Universe does not work.  Without Christ: the Albuterol of it all, I cannot function or expect to do His work--whether my intentions are pure or not.  God is showing me that I need Him now more than ever.  I am an asthmatic in the middle of an asthma attack, and I need my Savior.

The next few weeks are ones that are filled with draining days, long hours, and lots of work.  We have almost no days off until the end of the school year, and lots and lots of things to get done.  This is a time when the enemy likes to seek and destroy.  I would like you to join me in praying for the SCCLC: both teachers and students.  Pray that we stay strong, and finish well.  Pray for those teachers like myself that are leaving this year, that we will be able to transition gracefully back to the States.  Pray for the Seniors and their end-of-the-year decisions.  Pray for strength for today and bright hopes for tomorrow, and that we will continue to choose joy throughout the remainder of the year.

Thanks for you continued prayers & support.

Rachel

The Outsiders of SCCLC

I had an amazing idea for a way to have a final discussion on the themes found within the book we have been reading in 7th Grade.  The Outsiders is a coming-of-age novel written by S.E. Hinton set in the 60s when gangs started to become extremely popular, and racism was in its prime.  The subculture of teen violence was huge in the 60s; so huge that the baby boomers that were involved with the violence outweighed the desperate adults that were just trying to maintain some type of order in their towns.  

The two gangs in The Outsiders were the Greasers (poor teens trying to prove themselves) and the Socs (rich kids who get little to no attention from their parents).  I couldn't help but begin to see some connections to the Greasers and the Socs as I observed the interactions I saw between my students.  Seeing that the Greasers (missionary kids) and the Socs (Bolivian rich kids) fell almost perfectly in line with the story.  I realized that for some, this story might hit a little closer to home than I might have expected.  I didn't realize, however that it would hit THIS close to home.

So sticking with the gang element, I decided that we were going to have a rumble.  Before you all get nervous and start picturing 12 and 13 year olds running around the room with knives, guns, and shanks in their hands, this was a controlled and highly symbolic rumble.  Instead of using the normal weapons, I decided to embrace the theme of prejudice, appearance, and differences.  I had no idea how this spark of an idea would turn out, but nonetheless, I was excited.

When we started reading the book, I formed them into reading groups.  In these groups, I had the students give themselves a gang name, symbol, colors, and something they were "known" for.  They loved this exercise, and were able to earn points for their gang throughout the unit.  So the last day of the unit, in line with the book, it made sense to have a rumble.

I handed out sheets of paper, all in their gang colors, and had them write down one insult (keeping it PG) that they had received or heard someone receive here at SCCLC.  After they had finished this, I told them to crumple the paper up into a ball and that would become their weapon.  I divided up the gym into four corners and allowed them to play dodgeball using the paper balls, and upon finishing, instructed them to grab a ball near them, read it, and return to class so we could discuss the words written.

Some of the things written on those sheets of paper were shocking to say the least.  There were students' names, awful language, racist words.  Everything you could imagine was written.  I was shocked, but not shocked; because having experienced it myself, Middle School is cruel. This is when everything was taken from my hands and the Holy Spirit decided to take over.

I ended up having an incredible dialogue with the 7th graders about the bullying that they see taking place, and are sometimes involved in at our school.  It was eye opening for some, it was personal for others, and it was convicting for all of them.  By the end of the discussion 3/4 of my class was in tears and I don't really remember what I said, but I was crying as well.  I know that the Holy Spirit was moving to work through these kids.  Seeing these young kids hugging eachother and loving eachother in this way was one of those moments that you never forget.  One of those moments that God uses to remind you of the reason you do the things you do.

At the end of the class period, I gave the students another sheet of paper.  I asked them to use the same weapon to write an apology for the things they had said to others in hate or with the purpose of hurting them.  I told them I wasn't going to make them give it to the person or give them a grade, it was purely for them to be honest with themselves and see how much hate can be shown through words.  I was shocked when I recceived a letter myself.

God is doing some incredible things here at the SCCLC, and I am blessed every second I can be part of it.  When I first read The Outsiders, I hated it, and didn't even want to teach it.  Now its going to be one of those books that I'll never forget.

Please say a special prayer for the 7th graders as you read this.  God isn't finished working in those kids, and I know that eventually there will be reconciliation in the hearts of every single one of them.

Thanks for reading & praying,

Rachel

Resisting the Chisel

"He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 1:4

This was the theme verse of the message of my home church this week.  I listened as Pastor Mark talked about the necessary understanding that God is constantly at work in our lives.  He started the work...is currently carrying it out...and will not stip until its done.  He compared our lives to that of the unfinished figurines of Michelangelo.  Michelangelo was quoted to say that his goal was to "liberate the figurine imprisoned in the marble."  Unlike Michelangelo, God doesn't stop working on what he has started.  He is constantly at work and he won't quit.  The difference is that he is molding us into the image of Jesus.
This is not the first time I have heard this analogy of God's work in our lives.  I have been preached this verse many times.  The great thing about the Bible, though, is that God brings about a new lesson to be learned every time I intently look at His word.

I remember watching the video posted below when I first heard about God using a chisel to shape us and mold us into the person He wants us to be.  Though I had seen the video a few times, I remember hearing about it from last year's 10th graders talking about the job of being God's workmanship.  Allowing God to hit us where it hurts in order to mold us into his masterpiece.  God used this video and the words of my students to convict me of allowing myself to accept the grace of God in my own life: a lesson I have had to re-learn time and time again.

I have heard this verse was from my Dad as a kid.  He would recite this verse to me whenever I would get annoyed with my brothers or with my friends or with myself.  He would recite it over and over again--to the point where I would just shut off when he said it--yet again.

This last time, when I was sitting in my empty room streaming the sermon over the internet, I heard the message in a whole new way.  This verse isn't simply meant for ME and my self-centered relationship with God.  Its meant for all of those that God has been working on too.  God, in His divine supremacy, has been crafting all of His children into masterpieces that glorify Him.  I'm not the only one being stuck with the chisel.  He is simultaneously using the circumstances around those around me, and not around me, to mold HIs children into what we should already be.  He is taking us from a pile of dirt and turning us into something bigger than we could ever imagine ourselves to be.

Is that not unifying?  Often, I have found myself making the radical statement that I cannot stand many Christians.  I cannot even begin to count how many cynical moments I have when I judge other believers for their actions and reactions.  It is virtually impossible to put a number to moments when I react to others with an expectation that I set for myself that they just don't live up to.  I treat others with such disdain and lack of mercy that, in turn--through assuming that they are resisting the chisel--I am resisting the chisel.  Its a classic plank-in-the-eye situation.  The Christians that God places in my path, as hypocritcal, self-righteous, frustrating or just plain annoying that they I can be, we are all being shaped, molded, chiseled, and perfected by the same Carpenter, Potter, Sculptor.  So if God is willing to forgive them, and chisel away, what other choice or responsibility do I have but support the chiseling of others by allowing God to chisel me.  Unforgiveness, judgement , and bitterness will always put a barrier between the chisel and the chiseled--a barrier that NEEDS to be crushed.
The most exciting thing about it all is that our proud Father is proud of every piece that is chipped away on His masterpiece.  Much more excited than the impossible chunk of marble that he has to work with, and He never gives up--no matter how stubborn that marble can be, no matter how many obstacles and barriers we place in front of Him.  No matter how many times we resist the Sculptor, he will FINISH his masterpiece.  He started, He's continuing, and He won't stop until its done--and on that day He will place us on the mantle of that place He's preparing for us to glorify Him for eternity.

Who's Excited?

Rachel

{prayer requests}

• UPCOMING CAMPS: pray for both the Middle School and High School camps coming up this month, that God will bring the kids to a deep and real understanding of Himself.
• YOUTH GROUP: Middle School & High School youth group has been combined to one night a week.  This is a lot of change for the school, and we'd appreciate the prayers as we maneuver through the transition
• MSCREW: I am now fully in charge of MSCrew, and I feel significantly worried and inadequate.  Please pray for me as I continue to make decisions for Crew and that I will communicate and work well with Ryan, the youth pastor, to disciple these kids.
• CARNAVAL WEEKEND: There is an apparant spiritual warfare during the days leading up to Lent here in Bolivia.  Bolivia is the worst country to be in during Carnaval because there is a significant spiritual warfare that happens.  Pray for those new Christians that will be tempted to attend Campamentos and to resist the temptation to join in on the evil
• PRAY for Jen Roberts and me as we travel to Peru during Carnaval weekend and explore Macchu Picchu.  Pray for travelling mercies and that God will bless our time together and grow our friendship

Life Lessons from a Director of an Elementary Christmas Program

I'm risking the label of sacreligious, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway.

If I could relate even a small portion of God's job to something tangible and understandable by a flawed human.  I'd say that an almost acceptable picture of God is a director of a Elementary School Christmas Program.  Something that I have learned an awful lot about.

The Director of an Elementary School Christmas Program might be expected to do any if not all of the following:

Convince a multitude of laughing, joking, screaming, playing, sinning, and downright awnry kids to do exactly what he wants at exactly the time he wants them to do it.

Gather all of the details of the show: time, lights, sound, location, program, props, costumes, etc.

Elicit help from selfless people who are willing to give up their usual things to serve

Encourage the kids who are scared, nervous, unsure, and the ones with attitude, to keep going and try hard.

Sit back, breathe, and believe that in the end they will do their best.

Do you see any of the parallels here?  GOD directed (and continues to direct) the show for me.

He Convinces ME: a laughing, joking, screaming, playing, sinning and downright awnry believer to do exactly what He wants done at the time He wants it done.

He gathers all of the details of my life & flawlessly figures it out without me even having to know about it.

He provides people to volunteer their time and energy in order to love me, pray for me, encourage me, help me, serve alongside me.

He encourages me when I'm scared, nervous, unsure, discouraged or hurt.  

When I have an attitude--he tells me to keep going.

He sits back and waits until it is finally time to tell me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I could not have done this directing thing on my own, mind you, but I believe that God could.  Well, to be truthful, He really DID.  Thank you all who were praying for me this week.  I'm blessed beyond blessed to have you all in my life!  GOD BLESS!

And Feliz Navidad!

Rachel

PRAYER REQUESTS & PRAISES

• PRAISE that the Christmas Program went well & that its over ;)
• Pray for FINALS WEEK this week, and that the kids and teachers finish well!
• Pray for all of the teachers and missionaries flying home for Christmas vacation, that they'll be safe and enjoy their time at home.
• Pray for myself and the other teachers and missionaries staying here in Bolivia during vacation.  That we will still find ways to celebrate without family and that we won't miss home too much.
• Pray for the 2013 SAM Mission Conference coming up the 2nd week of January.  That everything will run smoothly and that it will be an edifying and awesome experience for all of the missionaries.

THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS & SUPPORT!