The Outsiders of SCCLC

I had an amazing idea for a way to have a final discussion on the themes found within the book we have been reading in 7th Grade.  The Outsiders is a coming-of-age novel written by S.E. Hinton set in the 60s when gangs started to become extremely popular, and racism was in its prime.  The subculture of teen violence was huge in the 60s; so huge that the baby boomers that were involved with the violence outweighed the desperate adults that were just trying to maintain some type of order in their towns.  

The two gangs in The Outsiders were the Greasers (poor teens trying to prove themselves) and the Socs (rich kids who get little to no attention from their parents).  I couldn't help but begin to see some connections to the Greasers and the Socs as I observed the interactions I saw between my students.  Seeing that the Greasers (missionary kids) and the Socs (Bolivian rich kids) fell almost perfectly in line with the story.  I realized that for some, this story might hit a little closer to home than I might have expected.  I didn't realize, however that it would hit THIS close to home.

So sticking with the gang element, I decided that we were going to have a rumble.  Before you all get nervous and start picturing 12 and 13 year olds running around the room with knives, guns, and shanks in their hands, this was a controlled and highly symbolic rumble.  Instead of using the normal weapons, I decided to embrace the theme of prejudice, appearance, and differences.  I had no idea how this spark of an idea would turn out, but nonetheless, I was excited.

When we started reading the book, I formed them into reading groups.  In these groups, I had the students give themselves a gang name, symbol, colors, and something they were "known" for.  They loved this exercise, and were able to earn points for their gang throughout the unit.  So the last day of the unit, in line with the book, it made sense to have a rumble.

I handed out sheets of paper, all in their gang colors, and had them write down one insult (keeping it PG) that they had received or heard someone receive here at SCCLC.  After they had finished this, I told them to crumple the paper up into a ball and that would become their weapon.  I divided up the gym into four corners and allowed them to play dodgeball using the paper balls, and upon finishing, instructed them to grab a ball near them, read it, and return to class so we could discuss the words written.

Some of the things written on those sheets of paper were shocking to say the least.  There were students' names, awful language, racist words.  Everything you could imagine was written.  I was shocked, but not shocked; because having experienced it myself, Middle School is cruel. This is when everything was taken from my hands and the Holy Spirit decided to take over.

I ended up having an incredible dialogue with the 7th graders about the bullying that they see taking place, and are sometimes involved in at our school.  It was eye opening for some, it was personal for others, and it was convicting for all of them.  By the end of the discussion 3/4 of my class was in tears and I don't really remember what I said, but I was crying as well.  I know that the Holy Spirit was moving to work through these kids.  Seeing these young kids hugging eachother and loving eachother in this way was one of those moments that you never forget.  One of those moments that God uses to remind you of the reason you do the things you do.

At the end of the class period, I gave the students another sheet of paper.  I asked them to use the same weapon to write an apology for the things they had said to others in hate or with the purpose of hurting them.  I told them I wasn't going to make them give it to the person or give them a grade, it was purely for them to be honest with themselves and see how much hate can be shown through words.  I was shocked when I recceived a letter myself.

God is doing some incredible things here at the SCCLC, and I am blessed every second I can be part of it.  When I first read The Outsiders, I hated it, and didn't even want to teach it.  Now its going to be one of those books that I'll never forget.

Please say a special prayer for the 7th graders as you read this.  God isn't finished working in those kids, and I know that eventually there will be reconciliation in the hearts of every single one of them.

Thanks for reading & praying,

Rachel

Beyond the Classroom

As I start to see that this year is in the down slope, I'm thrilled to see that God has used my students to teach me lessons probably more than I actually teach them anything.  I figured I'd list and explain some of these lessons that I learned from the past couple weeks.

I am not needed.
As you know I have been leading the Middle School Crew.  We have been meeting before school every Thursday morning, and I've been really excited to be privileged to work with them and lead the Middle School.  I have been so excited that I have felt an extra responsibility and pressure to be sure that I am everything a Spiritual Leader should be: reliable, a good listener, a faithful servant, etc. etc.
Well this last Thursday, I slept through my alarm and didn't make it to our morning meeting.  I woke up thinking and whispering in superlatives (not one of my finer moments in life), and I was so disappointed in myself assuming that they were going to be so upset with me, and wouldn't bee able to function without me.
How PRIDEFUL! I apologized to all of them individually, and they all said something along the lines of "it's ok miss, we read the Bible on our own and shared our favorite verses.  We also came up with a theme for the Elementary chapel we are going to do this semester.  Then we prayed for the week and talked about life."
How awesome is it that a bunch of 12 and 13 year old kids don't need a teacher to tell them what or how to be good leaders?  I'm so proud of them, and so humbled to know that I am not needed for the Holy Spirit to do awe-inspiring and wonderful things in His children.

My MSCrew kids!  Lucas, Grace, Aram, Benji, Heyli, Shekinah, and Luke

I am not perfect.
I have one student that tends to correct me every single time I am wrong.  I laugh almost every time and remind her that no one is perfect.  I think she will become an amazing teacher one day.  But she is one of the students that God uses to teach me that I can never be good enough on my own.  I cannot do the teaching thing alone, and I need to constantly be trusting God to get me through.

I am not favored.
I had an amazing conversation with another teacher, and Mom of one of my students. This whole year I had the feeling she had been avoiding me, and I didn't understand why.  I got the strange feeling that she didn't like me, and I was puzzled as to what I had done to offend her.
It turns out that she was one of the parents that wasn't happy with my returning to the SCCLC.  I was inimidated by her from the beginning, but I have always loved having her child in my class.  Long story, short, she told me that her daughter really loves my class and that she appreciates what I have been doing this year.  She told me she wasn't happy with me being here and didn't think that her daughter would be learning in my class at all, but she was really impressed with me and RESPECTS me as a teacher.
Though I do not do what I do in order to be praised, it was really humbling and nice to be on the receiving end of some praise.  It was nice to be told by a seasoned teacher that I am doing a good job, and that she is thankful for me.  All because of her daughter sharing with her mom about my class.  It was nice to be appreciated by someone who does not favor me.

I am loved.
I caught one of my students making fun of me in an extremely cruel way during one of my classes.  Because of my lack of experience in this, I just ignored it and kept on teaching, though I was distracted.
I was so surprised at how this little act of teenage cruelty would affect my day so much.  After a good cry, I approached the student toward the end of the day, and I made it known that teachers have feelings too, and that he should think about that the next time he decides he wants to make fun of someone.
I know that I probably didn't get through to this student, but I was able to be real, open, and honest with him.  Afterwards, I got so frustrated with myself for allowing a student to hurt me in such a way.  It brought me back to my own days in Middle School where the kids were so vicious and I was on both the receiving and giving end of bullying.  But I always remember and reminded myself of the fact that  I am loved by someone who could have chosen to be a bully when he was on this Earth, and had the right to be more than anyone else, but he didn't. Jesus chose love.  He chose to forgive, and to give love, grace, and compassion.
I'm thankful for the students that make fun of me; it reminds me that I am loved by the One that matters, and he sent people that matter to love me as well.

All of these lessons that God has taught me over this time here are just the icing on the cake of an incredible year so far.  Yesterday marked 99 days until I come home.  I am officially in the double digits, and I'm trying not to anxiously await that day.  God is showing me how important it is to continually allow myself to learn more and more about Him by allowing Him to show me more and more about myself.  Its an extremely difficult thing to allow, but I'm becoming more of the woman He made me to be in the process.

Continually thankful for His unending grace,

Rachel

{prayer requests}

• SCCLC Teaching
• Pray for me as this year is starting to come to a close.  Pray that I don't check out, but make every single day count for something.  Pray that I am still focusing on my purpose here, and to allow my mind to be HERE and not at home.
• Pray for the remainder of the year, that I am able to fulfill my responsibilities as both an English and Music teacher, and that the students continue to learn from me both academically and spiritually.
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray that I actually wake up on Thursday mornings, and I am ready to lead my kids, but I allow them to lead as well.
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.
• Pray for the single ladies Bible study we have just started within our mission.  We are meeting on Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the month.  Pray for Johanna as she leads that.

From Camp to the Classroom & Back Again

This last week was extremely tranquilo and eerily quiet because the High Schoolers were away at Camp.  At least 3 students accepted Christ at this camp, and many kids rededicated their lives to Christ. From all the reports, it seemed like it was a significantly worshipful and unforgettable time for the High School.

BUT I got to go with the Junior Highers to camp last week, and it was also an awesome experience with them.  I was given the opportunity to develop relationships with my kids that go beyond the classroom.  Sometimes it can get frustrating to be in the classroom environment when I want to get to know my kids on a deeper level. ALSO the yellow team (my team) won the team competitions.  Here are some photos of the week taken by our official photographer, Haeun.

Boys playing the "don't touch the trashcan, but make everyone else touch it" game (don't remember the name)

Having to do math at camp exhausts me: counting up different colored balls we made in order to count up our points :)

Middle School worship is always an interesting and fun experience.  I was able to lead with other High Schoolers and an awesome friend, Ally Lee.

The winning team: The Cheesus Freaks.  We were a team of superheroes that all had to do with Cheese.  I was Cheese Momma.  Tayo (center) was The Big Cheese.  Others were Cheesecake, Cheesy Boy, String Cheese, Cheese it, and Cheezito....it was a lot of fun.

watergun Dodgeball.  The Big Cheese beating down the blue team! :)

The awesome High school Leaders that did such an excellent job! :)

As I look at my time here and consider what (specifically in teaching) my biggest struggles are it is drawing that teacher-student relationship line in the sand.  Finding the boundaries and learning how to uphold those boundaries.  There is such a fine line that, because of my lack of experience as a teacher, is so fine that I cannot fully see it.  This week was a hard one in Middle School because of that new development in my relationships with my students.  Some of my students understand the environmental changes and how they need to respect me; while others cannot seem to grasp that concept.

I had to discipline many students this week because I almost had to reestablish that student-teacher relationship.  I had to make it clear that I am no longer their camp-counselor that is super competitive and will stay up until all hours painting nails, eating junk food and chatting about anything and everything.  Then I realized, I don't want both.  I want either of those dynamics when ministering to youth.  I don't like having to balance both, having to remind myself which role I'm fulfilling at which time.  I'd much rather stay in camp-mode OR teacher mode.

I think God is showing me a lot about how to not only establish boundaries, but also to stick to those boundaries both in my personal and professional lives.  The hard thing that comes is that a lot of my students show up in both of those parts of my life.  Those students that are part of the missionary life as well as the teaching life. The ones that are allowed to call me Rachel outside of school and are forced to call me Miss Gentry at school.  The ones that I mentor, but also have to discipline in my classroom.  I get confused sometimes, so I can't even imagine how they must feel.

All that to say: I'd like to stick to one type of role, and I'm seeing that I like camp-mode so much better than teacher-mode.  Maybe that's telling me something about my eventual future.  Hopefully God will show me what the next step after this adventure is that will lead me to serve where and how He has designed me to serve.

Continually Seeking His Will & Waiting Patiently for Direction..

--
Rachel

{prayer requests}

• Praise that CAMP was a success!
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Pray as this year is on the down-swing, that the students (and I) will adjust to change as I prepare to leave.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.

The "Wow" Factor

Could it be a universal truth that the human race has a desire to be remembered? We have been in search for ways to leave an impression. Whether shallow and temporary or deep and lasting, we feed on the satisfaction of being thought of after we are no longer in sight.  Though it can be draining after a while, I suspect that a mom gets a small beam of satisfaction when she hears her toddler cry when she leaves him in the nursery or at school.  My junior high girls thrive on drama--though they complain that gossip goes on, they talk about being talked about and as it continues its almost as if they like the attention it gives them.  As a teacher, I am ecstatic if I see one of my kids getting interested in a book they are reading, or talking about the haiku they just wrote outside of class.  I tell myself that I'm doing something right--that they are learning and applying their knowledge.  Its the greatest feeling in the world when the work that I put in is actually paying off, even if it's just a little bit.

While I was wondering around and marvelling at the breathtaking ruins of Machupicchu, I couldn't help but wonder how it would feel like to be the Incan architect of the ancient ruin--and to hypothetically observe all of the people still drooling over my creation.  I mean what if that architect knew that his work was still being visited daily by thousands of people all over the world, after thousands of years.  I wonder if he would have done something differently--or if he'd have shown off even more with his skills and plans--or be thinking--what's the big deal?  Its just a little town.  I wonder if he failed in his architectural design schooling.  I'm sure he was an average Jose, right?  A normal Incan guy that had an idea one day--and had the guts to see it through.  I wonder if he even wanted to be known by thousands for thousands of years.

I have been reading In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.  The story is based off of the unpopular Biblical narrative of Benaiah, one of David's soldiers.  This guy decided to chase a lion into a pit and kill it--which earned him a prestigious position in David's army. One that left an impression on others.  Could you imagine the soldiers that he was in charge of talking about him as he was getting ready to train them to fight Babylon?  Or even the ways that the story might have been skewed and adjusted?  --"I heard he fought a lion with his bare hands and left nothing but the bones." --"Well, I hear that he ate the whole lion and has the skin hanging up above his bed." --"Really?  I heard he just told the story to get a job and he really ran away."  I'm sure there were more.  Regardless of the truth, Benaiah left a legacy--he managed to be someone that caused people to say "wow!"  He affected conversations just by doing what he was doing---and pursuing what God called him to pursue.

How inspiring is that?  I want to have that "wow" factor.  I want to be one of those people that makes and impression.  The ones that even after they are gone are ranted and raved about.  I want to be someone that people want to be.  Its not that I want to be famous; I'd find that kind of exposure a little too stressful.  In my miniscule span of influence--I want to be known as one who radiates the "wow" factor that only God can truly have.

But at the end of the day, I'm sure that both Benaiah and that Incan architect were just living their lives. It could have been just a normal day where they followed through on a vision that they were given, and that made all the difference.  When I piggy-backed on the tours that were given of Machupicchu I heard a whole lot of speculation: this house might have been placed here for worship of the gods, or during the winter solstice this rock lines up with the sun, so they probably did this on purpose, etc. etc.  But I suspect that if we could speak to the architect today, he would say that he dropped that rock their and it was too heavy to pick up, so... Or I'm sure that if we spoke to Benaiah and asked him why it was that he chased that lion, expecting him to go into a long theological discussion, he would say.. I just felt like chasing a lion.

So at the end of the day: I'm sure that even me: a simple Junior High teacher in Bolivia can develop that romantic "wow" factor just by living the day to day.  I cannot truly know the impact I make on my immediate span of influence in the moment.  So rather than trying really hard to influence those I see o a daily basis, I'm choosing to live for the One I want to impress: God.  If nothing else, I can influence others to do the same.

NOW for pictures of Machupicchu:

Thanks for reading!

--
Rachel

{prayer requests}

• CAMP is this week! 
• Please pray for both Ryan Parsons and Mike Banks as they lead the junior highers and high schoolers in an unforgettable week at camp.
• Pray for the HS leaders at Jr High Camp: Tayo, Emily, Abby, Ramona, Caleb, Cesar, 
• Pray for the Worship Team: Ally Lee and Myself (adult leaders) and the HS and JH leaders: Ramona, Emily, Grace, Cesar, and Tayo
• Pray for those left behind to sub for the teachers going to camp, as well as the general population of SCCLC to continue to grow in our absence
• Seussical the Musical: 
• I have been asked to be in charge of the soloist and ensemble in the musical at the SCCLC this Spring.  I'm fighting a whole bunch of feelings of inadequacy, and I could use prayer for God to show up in me and through me as I lead the kids in the musical.
• Pray for Emily Barlow as she is directing the whole show and is going to need a lot of guidance from God through the entire quarter.
• MSCrew
• Pray for the kids in MSCrew: Grace, Shekinah, Benji, Luke, Lucas, and Heyli.  I'm really impressed and excited that they are committing to be leaders at the SCCLC.
• Pray for myself as I lead them through this semester and learn how to disciple others. Pray that I will be discipling them well.
• Discipleship
• PRAISE God that I have started to be mentored by co-missionary and dear friend, Johanna Bennets.  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am anxious to see how God uses myself in her life, and how we build eachother up in the Lord.
• Pray for her as she listens, and guides me in my struggles, but also for me that I am honoring God through our conversations--and that I am able to be transparent: something that is a struggle and challenge for me.

The Journey, Not the Destination

"It's really the journey that matters, not the destination." This quote sums up the adventure that was the trip we took to Machupicchu.  Adventures tend to stretch you in ways you never knew you could be.  There is always a point in said adventure that each party involved manages a freak-out or two, and our true colors really do come out. Both Jen and I had our own little freak outs during our trip to Machupicchu.

It was definitely a Planes, Trains, and Automobiles kind of trip.  Which, by the way, is a movie I would recommend to anyone who asks.  First, Jen came down to Santa Cruz and I spent a few days showing her my stomping ground.  Then we flew together to La Paz--our flight was delayed three hours so we almost missed our bus to Cusco that we thought was scheduled for 8:30pm.  When we finally got to La Paz, we made it in time for our bus, but come to find out, the bus tickets we bought were for 8:30am.  OOPS (enter Jen's freakout).  SO we ended up staying the night in La Paz after purchasing tickets for the next day, and the night bus we had hoped to be on became a day bus.

NOW for my freakout.  We got on the bus to Cusco the next morning and we managed to drift in and out of consciousness.  One time we were asked to get out of the bus and walk through a town with our passports.  As a first-time traveler I assumed this was the border.  I was wrong.  A couple hours later, I was woken up by unclear Spanish and everyone was getting off the bus.  I didn't see anyone else take their passports, so I assumed it was just a rest stop or something because the Bolivian man next to me said we were walking through an Abasto.  Before I continue, heed to my advice: ALWAYS take your passport with you while travelling.  I foolishly left mine on the bus, and as we walked through the marvelously muddy market I saw that we were approaching the border of Peru.  That is when I broke out in the closest to a mud-run I would ever find myself in.  When I reached the bus, the driver screamed at me with a whole bunch of Spanish superlatives while I tracked my muddy footprints onto the bus and grabbed my passport.  Meanwhile, the driver continued to scream at me, so I screamed back "Lo siento! OK!!?"  I know, not my finest moment.

And continuing the freakout: When we finally got through Bolivian customs, we had to cross an overly crowded bridge and I was simply confused, lost, and unsure of which way was right, wrong, up or down.  We walked back and forth across that bridge three or four times when we finally just guessed that we had to go into Peru and stand in line at customs there.  My freakout ended when we finally saw some other people from our bus in line.

We finally got to Cusco, and all of our problems ended aside from the train tickets to Machupicchu we had already purchased for that afternoon and consequentially we missed.  My new friends, the Strongs, WGM missionaries, let us stay with them.  The Strongs also drove us to the train station and below are some photos of stops we made along the way.  By the end, we made it to Machupicchu, and I'm so thankful and blessed to have had the experience of a lifetime.  

Though both of us freaked out, I was even more blessed to have gone with such a chill and low maintenance friend that I have in Jen.  She made things so much more fun, and out unforgettable experiences we littered with deep heart-to-heart conversations (as well as hilarious ones) that were truly a blessing to me.

Machupicchu pictures will make an appearance later, when I am able to sort through over 700 photos that Jen and I took.

In the taxi in La Paz right before we found out that we got the wrong tickets.

FINALLY on the bus to Cusco!

On the way to Ollantaytambo, the train station...this church took my breath away

At a wildlife refuge, we saw a bunch of beautiful animals

Peru is known for their condors, and we got to see them upclose and personal!

We stopped at a llama and alpaca reserve too, and I got to feed a llama!! :)

They are the most fascinatingly ugly and beautiful birds ever.

We learned how the Peruvian women dye and weave Peruvian alpaca textiles.

All of these colors were made from rocks, trees, plants, and berries.  It was fascinating. 

on the road to Pisac, a town between Cusco and Ollantaytambo.

A Carnaval custom.  The leader of the festival artificially plant this tree in  the sqaure and place gifts in it.  The town dances around it and take turns chopping at it with machetes.  The couple that chops the tree down is in charge of the festival the following year.

The Peruvian textiles were so colorful and beautiful!

We stopped in Urubambo to visit this place.  Seminario pottery, a world-famous potter that  just  took my breath away and convinced me to spend far too much money on coasters, a mug and salt and pepper shakers.

FINALLY in Ollantaytambo (I challenge you to pronounce that correctly on the first try) and getting on the train! 

STAY TUNED for pictures from Machupicchu!!

Until next time..

Rachel

Resisting the Chisel

"He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 1:4

This was the theme verse of the message of my home church this week.  I listened as Pastor Mark talked about the necessary understanding that God is constantly at work in our lives.  He started the work...is currently carrying it out...and will not stip until its done.  He compared our lives to that of the unfinished figurines of Michelangelo.  Michelangelo was quoted to say that his goal was to "liberate the figurine imprisoned in the marble."  Unlike Michelangelo, God doesn't stop working on what he has started.  He is constantly at work and he won't quit.  The difference is that he is molding us into the image of Jesus.
This is not the first time I have heard this analogy of God's work in our lives.  I have been preached this verse many times.  The great thing about the Bible, though, is that God brings about a new lesson to be learned every time I intently look at His word.

I remember watching the video posted below when I first heard about God using a chisel to shape us and mold us into the person He wants us to be.  Though I had seen the video a few times, I remember hearing about it from last year's 10th graders talking about the job of being God's workmanship.  Allowing God to hit us where it hurts in order to mold us into his masterpiece.  God used this video and the words of my students to convict me of allowing myself to accept the grace of God in my own life: a lesson I have had to re-learn time and time again.

I have heard this verse was from my Dad as a kid.  He would recite this verse to me whenever I would get annoyed with my brothers or with my friends or with myself.  He would recite it over and over again--to the point where I would just shut off when he said it--yet again.

This last time, when I was sitting in my empty room streaming the sermon over the internet, I heard the message in a whole new way.  This verse isn't simply meant for ME and my self-centered relationship with God.  Its meant for all of those that God has been working on too.  God, in His divine supremacy, has been crafting all of His children into masterpieces that glorify Him.  I'm not the only one being stuck with the chisel.  He is simultaneously using the circumstances around those around me, and not around me, to mold HIs children into what we should already be.  He is taking us from a pile of dirt and turning us into something bigger than we could ever imagine ourselves to be.

Is that not unifying?  Often, I have found myself making the radical statement that I cannot stand many Christians.  I cannot even begin to count how many cynical moments I have when I judge other believers for their actions and reactions.  It is virtually impossible to put a number to moments when I react to others with an expectation that I set for myself that they just don't live up to.  I treat others with such disdain and lack of mercy that, in turn--through assuming that they are resisting the chisel--I am resisting the chisel.  Its a classic plank-in-the-eye situation.  The Christians that God places in my path, as hypocritcal, self-righteous, frustrating or just plain annoying that they I can be, we are all being shaped, molded, chiseled, and perfected by the same Carpenter, Potter, Sculptor.  So if God is willing to forgive them, and chisel away, what other choice or responsibility do I have but support the chiseling of others by allowing God to chisel me.  Unforgiveness, judgement , and bitterness will always put a barrier between the chisel and the chiseled--a barrier that NEEDS to be crushed.
The most exciting thing about it all is that our proud Father is proud of every piece that is chipped away on His masterpiece.  Much more excited than the impossible chunk of marble that he has to work with, and He never gives up--no matter how stubborn that marble can be, no matter how many obstacles and barriers we place in front of Him.  No matter how many times we resist the Sculptor, he will FINISH his masterpiece.  He started, He's continuing, and He won't stop until its done--and on that day He will place us on the mantle of that place He's preparing for us to glorify Him for eternity.

Who's Excited?

Rachel

{prayer requests}

• UPCOMING CAMPS: pray for both the Middle School and High School camps coming up this month, that God will bring the kids to a deep and real understanding of Himself.
• YOUTH GROUP: Middle School & High School youth group has been combined to one night a week.  This is a lot of change for the school, and we'd appreciate the prayers as we maneuver through the transition
• MSCREW: I am now fully in charge of MSCrew, and I feel significantly worried and inadequate.  Please pray for me as I continue to make decisions for Crew and that I will communicate and work well with Ryan, the youth pastor, to disciple these kids.
• CARNAVAL WEEKEND: There is an apparant spiritual warfare during the days leading up to Lent here in Bolivia.  Bolivia is the worst country to be in during Carnaval because there is a significant spiritual warfare that happens.  Pray for those new Christians that will be tempted to attend Campamentos and to resist the temptation to join in on the evil
• PRAY for Jen Roberts and me as we travel to Peru during Carnaval weekend and explore Macchu Picchu.  Pray for travelling mercies and that God will bless our time together and grow our friendship

Without Fault

I had a great day today; a day filled with laughter, successes, challenges, and memories, but for some reason I took the short walk home feeling like a failure.  As I started to play my day back in my mind while I was packing up my things and getting ready to leave my classroom, I fell to the temptation of comparison & self-defeat.

Its interesting how often I find my worth and identity in things that do not even matter.  I have fallen victim to the attention received from praise.  Praise for a successful lesson.  Praise for relating to the kids I see everyday.  Praise for being a good missionary.  Praise for getting my lesson plans in on time or for finishing the assigned professional development book.  And when I don't receive the praise, I look at all of the areas in my life that need to be improved, and begin to do some self-examination.

Why am I not as good of a mentor as she is?
Why do my students not like me as much as her when I try so much harder?
Why am I not being a supportive enough girlfriend?
Why is it so hard for me to stay healthy or thin?
Why do I have to be good at things that I don't want to do?
Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else?

I ask myself these self-defeating questions over and over and always come to the same answer...because you're simply not good enough.  Which is true in a lot of ways.  I am not good enough.  I'm a failure.  We all are.  But that is the beauty of redemption.  The truth is I have been set free from the bondage of sin, but for some reason that bondage is so comfortable--and safe; I find myself retreating back to those lies because its easier and safer to hide behind them rather than allow others to see me for who I truly am.

One of my students accepted Christ this week, and I was overjoyed with the things she had to say.  She shared her testimony almost immediately after she accepted Christ and she said so many things, but one thing she said that I will always remember is "words are power."

This is so true.  When I teach I am able to convince my students of a lot of things.  When I listen to someone say hurtful things, those scars come up later in life.  When I say hurtful things to others I'm sure those words have enough power to scar them as well.  I just wish that I was able to listen to the most powerful words of all:

WITHOUT FAULT.  That is the part that is hard for me to grasp.  I am fully aware of the faults of myself and the people who I am around on a daily basis.  God has gifted me with an ability to see and understand the faults of others--almost to a fault (pardon the pun).

As I continue to grow and be engrossed in full-time ministry life my ability to acccept the grace of God has begun to occupy the shadow behind my constant desire for approval and the praises of man. 

Father,

Help me accept that I can never fully satisfy anyone, but I can be fully satisfied with You and you alone.  Help me learn to embrace your grace & to learn from failure rather than dwell in failure.  Teach me to see myself how you see me: blameless and without fault.

Rachel

Ambidextrous Spirituality

SAMBo Mission Conference

Last week was a week that was filled with God's presence at the SAMBo Mission Conference.  I added a bunch of pictures that highlight the week.  God brought to light a lot of issues that I have convinced myself were not issues in my life.  He showed me a lot of truth about myself.  He showed me that I need to be broken before I can heal from the things I didn't know were hurting me.

Up until this point in my time here in Bolivia I have been asking God to change me.  I've been asking for Him to mold me and shape me into the woman He sees me to be.  Though I have great motives in my prayers, my actions reflect the exact opposite desire.  I suppress my feelings so as not to impose them on others.   I don't allow things to surface because I don't want others to see me as weak.  I also don't see that others can actually help me or offer me any advice that would be worth listening to.

The Conference Committee & Jerry & Pat Sittser

The bottom line: I am alone, and there is no one trustworthy in this world that would even understand.

When I went to conference I had low, if any, expectations.  I was less than thrilled to go because all I could think about was the long list of things I needed to complete before school started.  But God used the mission conference to answer the prayer that I have been given.  He continued the transformation.  He decided to take a big chunk off of my masterpiece, and let me tell you.  This one was painful.

God used the words of our speaker, Jerry Sittser, to really convict me of my mistaken perspective.  The perspective I have thought is that in the story of my life I have been confusing my circumstances with my plot.  The plot comes out of the circumstances.  The plot develops out of the way I respond to the circumstances in which I see myself, and "God will use the toold of everything to form me into who I already should be.

He introduced the concept of ambidextrous spirituality.  Which is a fancy way of searching for God in all situations: prosperity & adversity.  Currently I find myself in the latter.  I have been sleeping in the shadows of my adversity for so long--becoming numb to emotions or feelings, and dwelling in negativity.  I cannot be a slave to my circumstances--even if they are hard.  Jerry asked the important question that I am now asking myself:

How am I responding to God where I am?

Jerry simply said "wherever you are, find God there."  He continued to unpack the concept that we are all parts of the big Story, and there is no way to know how He will use our little story to impact his own Narrative, and we have the unique privilege to be "characters who know the author."  As soon as I started processing this, I was able to see that God can reveal the plot as it continues as long as I fulfill my part: be a character devoted to the Author.

I'm just learning to accept the paradox: "for when I am weak, then I am strong."  God is showing me that as adversity continues I need to take advantage of the refining of my faith, the opportunity of learning submission & dependence, of necessary trust.

Today I had the opportunity to practice this new practice of ambidextrus spirituality.  During chapel we sang the song: "Your Great Name" there is a verse that says:

The fatherless find their rest

At the sound of Your Great Name

The sick are healed the dead are raised

At the sound of Your Great Name

As I started singing and processing those lyrics I met with God.  He showed me that He is there during adversity--and He moves mountains.  All I could think of are those friends of mine in the States.  The father that was just taken from his toddler children and their mother.   I thought of the father and son that are fighting life-altering injuries.  I thought of the man here in Bolivia that was diagnosed with Leukemia and taken to heaven within two weeks.  I thought of a fellow missionary's niece fighting for her life at home.  But at the sound of His Great Name, there is hope when it seems hopeless.

As I continue to pray for these families affected by adversity, I just pray that God will simply show Himself to them in a big way. That God will continue to develop their plot, and they will allow Him to change their lives like He is changing mine.

Hurt happens, and character is built through it all.  Please be praying for me as I continue to adopt the spiritual discipline of "wherever you are, find God there."

thanks for your prayers & support!

--
Rachel

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PRAYER REQUESTS

• The new semester schedule has been trying and a little exhausting.  Please pray that God gives me ability to get my work done and opportunity to rest
• As I start to find God wherever I am pray that He brings a mentor into my life to join me in this and that I will be able to trust those around me to help me through this process.
• Gilberto, one of the pastors at my church, La Restauracion,  just went Home to rest.  Pray for his family and the church body as well as the missionary family that serves there, it has been tough on them as they are grieving.
• Pray for the two families at FCC in the States: the Hackings and the McLeans.  Two automobile accidents have caused life-altering injuries to Brian and Josh. Pray that they will be find strength and have faith in the Great Physician.  Also for Ana and her two little kids--her fiance died this weekend in a motorcycle accident.  Pray for her grieving process and her kids.
• Pray for the Crew kids this week as they start to write out their testimonies and go through the process of being officially added to the crew.
• Pray for my students to adjust gracefully into the new semester and that they will set good goals and finish well.

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Sneaking a Peek at God's Will

Most Recent Bolivian Adventure: exploring the light displays of Santa Cruz

I have never been an easy person to surprise.  Not possessing energy to face the impossible feat of pulling the wool over my eyes, my parents never threw me a surprise party. To put it bluntly: I am nosy, and like to know what is going on.  At far too young an age I would sit with my parents as they talked to their adult friends instead of playing with the other kids, just because I wanted to know what was going on.  In middle school and high school, I loved secrets only if I knew them, and I tried to sneak a peek at my Christmas presents so much that my parents started going shopping on Christmas Eve.  Social Committee president and an a member of the Student Government, I even needed to be a person "in the know" all throughout college.  Though he has never complained about it, Dave is very aware of this flaw of mine, and has been patiently helping me enjoy and welcome surprises.

As I have continued my life journey in Bolivia, I am realizing that being "in the know" is as impossible as throwing a surprise party for me was when I was a kid.  Since I first stepped on Bolivian sand, I've been surprised so many times it doesn't even come as a shock anymore; in fact it is a shock when I am able to predict a surprise.  What has this taught me?  First--real life is not even close to what they "prepare" you for up until college graduation.  Secondly, God loves surprises, and life itself is a surprise.

In the latest chapter Dave and I have read in the devotional we are doing, Devotions for Dating Couples, Sam Adams writes about God's will.  He shares that God has two wills for our lives: his soveriegn (secret) will and His moral will.  The sovereign will is one that will be carried out regardless of our choices, and the moral will is what He asks of us--and what is shared with us in Scriptures. Adams continues, "The problem occurs when we want to sneak a peek at God's secret will before it has been revealed.  Often we are too concerned with trying to anticipate His next move."

Lately, I have found my self wondering and pondering what my next move is supposed to be at the end of this school year.  What is my next step when I get off the plane on June 15th?  I have been praying for God to make His will clear to me.  I have been praying for God to show Dave His will as we take steps together in our future.  As we plan our next steps, I am humbled by Dave's patience and faith in God's providential will--meanwhile I am a wreck waiting for both Dave and God to present me with a 5-year plan.

My prayers and expectations have been completely misguided.  I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit intervenes in prayers, because I shouldn't be praying for God to make His will clear; I should be allowing myself to seek God's moral will.  I should be fulfilling MY duty as a servant of the Lord, "love God and enjoy Him forever."

I have been re-reading My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers had an amazing Biblical example of Peter asking Jesus, "why can I not follow you now?" John 13:37.  Immediately after this questions Jesus tells Peter that He will deny Him three times, while Peter is convinced that he knows Himself better than Jesus does.  How foolish, right?  Well here I am just as guilty.  Waiting on the Lord's direction, and the Lord's will when all I need to do is stop denying Him.  

Chambers responds to this passage this way, "Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move."

I have no idea what God is planning for my future.  I don't know what I will be doing this time next year.  I don't know whether I will be single, what country I will be in, where I will be laying my head, what job I will have.  Life is full of questions.  All questions God knows the answer to, and all questions I am not ready to hear the answers to.  I am only praying that I will continue to seek God--not his unrevealed will, because  I don't want or need heartache or disappointment--I need to love God and enjoy Him forever.

Thanks for Reading, Praying and Supporting!

Rachel

*******IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, make sure you watch this video as a THANK YOU for all of the gracious support you have given me these past months!*******

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PRAYER REQUESTS:

1. SAMBo Missions Conference:  This week we could really use your prayers here at SAMBolivia.  The Missions Conference is bringing a bunch of speakers and helpers for us missionaries to be ministered to.  I'm really looking forward to the time of rejunvination, Spiritual food, fellowship, and opportunities to rest and grow in the Lord.  PLEASE pray that God will go before us, and that His truth will be shared, shown, and received.

2. SCCLC: Students and teachers start the school year again on January 14th.  The time has snuck up on a lot of us, and we could use prayers as we continue to plan for the semester.  We are half-way through! Pray that we finish this last lap of our race well!

3. MSCrew: With the start of school, comes the continuation of youth group and Crew.  Kids will be completing and handing in applications for Crew during the first week of school.  Pray for wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit as we make decisions and seek His direction with Middle School Crew.

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Merry Christmas from Bolivia!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Christmas season lends itself to a lot of time for reflection and personal application the Christmas story. When Mary first heard the news of her miraculous conception of the King of kings, I’m sure she was terrified, confused and unsure of how she could do it.  But time and time again, she showed her faith through her response to God’s will.  Multiple times throughout the story of Jesus’ birth it says: “Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Mary did ask the angel a question, “How could I…” she never questioned God’s power or ability to fulfill His will.

When I reflect on the time I have spent here in Bolivia over the past 4 months, God keeps on showing me that I need to treasure the time that I have here, and cast aside the fear that I find myself holding onto and just have faith to believe that His will is being accomplished—both in my life and the lives I have been privileged to be part of.  God is doing much more than I can imagine in me and through me, and for that I am blessed and celebrate his birth.

Below is a quick slideshow of highlights from the past semester that I have spent here in Bolivia.  I hope you enjoy seeing the faces of the students I have been privileged to get to know this year!

Merry Christmas to all of you and I pray that you have a blessed and joy-filled New Year!